As proud as I am of my initial post — particularly that part about how I didn’t die — it begs the question: What do I do for an encore? After all, I did set the bar a bit high.
Short of finding that second gunman on the grassy knoll, or perhaps wrastlin’ a bear to death with one hand tied behind my back, there’s no way I can match the emotional impact of that first entry. And now that I have a new lease on life,1 I’m not about to go throw myself off another cliff just to produce an exciting follow-up for your reading pleasure. I have no interest in tempting fate a second time, and even less interest in subjecting myself — or any of you — to a horribly contrived sequel.2
So, back to that original question… what do I do for an encore? The answer is deceptively simple:
I lower your expectations.
If you don’t expect me to run with the bulls in Pamplona, you’ll be amused, rather than disappointed, when I prance with the kittens in Verona. Not that I’m going to do this, per se, but I definitely would, if given the opportunity. Wouldn’t you? (People with cat allergies are exempted from answering this question.)
So far, I only have a vague idea of what I’ll be writing about in this blog, but I don’t foresee many more posts about death by moss or hurtling into the abyss. All I know is that no matter what topic I choose to prattle on about, I shall do so with my own twisted sense of humor on full display.3 Hopefully, that’ll be enough to keep you entertained.
And if it isn’t, at least you can take solace in the fact that it’s enough to keep me entertained. And when it comes right down to it, isn’t that really all that matters? 4
1 No money down, $295/mo. for 36 months.
2 Almost Died II: Electric Boogaloo
3 Also, footnotes.
4 Yes. Yes it is.