Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Thursday, August 11, 2011

My Son Is Already Smarter Than Me

I've been studying with The Professor (age: 36 days) for a while now, and I must say, the experience has been extremely enlightening. He has so much knowledge to share, and under his stern yet forgiving tutelage I have already learned a great deal. Today, I'd like to pass along some of the wisdom he has imparted so far...
  • If someone is being too loud and you're unable to pacify them using traditional means, give them the finger. That will shut them up.
  • When you're in charge, you don't need to ask nicely to get what you want. Just keep screaming, and eventually other people will do it for you.
  • There's no need to cry over spilt milk, or let a little blood faze you. But if anyone ever puts you down, wail at them with all your might. They'll think twice about doing it again.
  • People don't learn from their mistakes unless there are consequences that affect them personally. Don't tell them what they did wrong right at the start; let things leak out over time. Only then will they learn.

    And, of course,
  • If you're beautiful, you can get away with pretty much anything.
I already knew that last one, but ain't it the truth.


  1. He really does look old and wise. Like a gnome wizard.

  2. Awwwww---what a smart little guy! he's so cute! And a Cancer... take it from another cancer--crusty on the outside, soft on the inside. He will probably be just a little more sensitive than he seems at first glance. We also love forever... no matter what.

  3. Matthew, I'm going to take that as a compliment. And now I must buy him a pointed hat, the choice of both gnomes and wizards worldwide.

    Hart, crusty on the outside and soft on the inside? So true. That's our little stuffed-crust pizza.

    Alex, excellent! I was going for funny.

  4. Love the one about "leaking" out the lesson. Isn't it amazing how well they communicate without words.

  5. He is wise beyond his years, er, months that is. Love the spilt milk one.

  6. My independent research confirms your findings!

  7. Chuck, I'm pretty sure he's wise beyond my years. Or behind my ears. He just pulled a shiny nickel out from behind my left one.

    Aleem, I had a feeling it might. I'm glad to know there is no East Coast bias within The Professor's teachings.