Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Judaism But Were Afraid to Ask

That's right, goys and girls: It's that time again.

Two years ago I gave you Uncle Nate's Wholly Unsubstantiated Hanukkah Primer. Last year, in my first Jew & A session, one crazy guy explained eight crazy nights. So, break out your dreidels and gefilte fish, since once again...

I will answer any question you have about Judaism.

Have you ever wondered why God chose to talk to Moses from inside a flaming shrubbery? Why challah is braided while French bread isn't? Why Orthodox Jews can't listen to Black Sabbath on the Sabbath? Why the Hebrews are so obsessed with bagels and lox? Any question you might have, I have the answer.

And don't hesitate to ask a question simply because I've answered it before. As everyone knows, religions as old as Judaism don't survive by remaining constant; they constantly have to adapt and evolve. Thus, my answers to any repeat inquiries will undoubtedly be different this time around.

So, if you're curious about some aspect of Judaism, whether cultural, historical, pedagogical, or megalomaniacal, just post your question (or questions) in the comments section below. In one week, on the first day of Hanukkah (12/21), all shall be revealed.

11 comments:

  1. What's the correct spelling - Hanukkah or Chanukkah? (or have I misspelled both).

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  2. Why do Jews hate Christmas?

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  3. What can you tell me about hats and haircuts associated with Judaism?

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  4. Why gefilte fish??? My friends in high school tried to feed me that. No go for me. Now, challah and bagels and kugel and borscht, oh yeah.
    all about the food...

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  5. So nu? whats the difference between lox and nova?
    Why the dickens can't knishes be sold outside of New York City?
    How come there are no Jewish hunters?
    Can Orthodox Jews listen to Bloodrock on fridays?

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  6. Mmm bagels.
    And have you ever eaten Lox? If so, what does it taste like?

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  7. What is the difference between Hanukkah candles and non-Chanukah candles. And why don't they have any of the former in Boise or Spokane?

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  8. What makes half-Jewish babies so gosh-darn cute?

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  9. How do Jews find true love?

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  10. What does conservative branch of Judiasim say about sexual fetishes whether they are allowed when consensual

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  11. Dear most recent Anonymous, although you asked your question after the deadline, I have not held it against you... this time. I've updated my answer post with the information you're looking for (or at least a reasonable facsimile of such).

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