We're in the final hours of NaNo season, but that won't stop me from celebrating National Novel Rhyming Month. However, we'll be doing things a little differently this year.
Sure, participation doubled (all the way to two!!) during NaNoRhyMo 2010, and we learned The Hunger Games fits quite nicely when set to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," but I felt it was time for a change.
After all, in each of the past two years, I was only rhyming about novels. But this time I shall rhyme the novels themselves, and trust me when I say these are literary gold. You won't find better NaNoRhyMo work anywhere in the 'verse. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
It's quite absurd, but I have heard that it is far less than one third
Of the U.S (I am assured) who clamor for the written word.
So am I really such a nerd (as many people have inferred)
For reading, till my vision's blurred, tales like To Kill a Mockingbird?
For yes, indeed, I have decreed my innate need to always read;
On Superfudge and Lamb I'll Feed (or Choke upon The Wanting Seed).
Would it make me a crook if I took Just One Look
At my wife's brand new Nook to read The Graveyard Book?
What if something I give her (perhaps Mystic River)
Sets her heart aquiver or delivers a Shiver?
(Would she take me back in if I left The Shack in
One piece whilst attackin' and killin' the Kraken?)
I bet she'll forgive me and we will be fine,
Since these questions are stupid (and this a near-rhyme).
If The Lord of the Rings meets The Lord of the Flies,
There'll be a Battle Royale where Everybody Dies.
The Road, I find, is not my taste; Da Vinci Code is but a waste.
If reviews glowed, a story laced with vengeance owed and, too, well-paced,
A tale like that I would devour, every minute, every hour,
Since I'm smitten with well-written prose whenever I am sittin'
And relaxing in my home. (I also avoid Ethan Frome.
Though it's true my resolve weakens with The Last of the Mohicans).
But just the same it's such a shame that so few people know the name
Of that great dame who is "to blame" for giving us The Westing Game.
So we'll unfurl a Brave New World (one with, of course, a moose and squirrel)
And in the gloom then find a pearl (perhaps The Other Boleyn Girl).
That's all I've got; that's all there is, so I won't be including 'Tis.
And I'll skip Tuesdays With Morrie. Both are memoirs. (Very sorry).
Yeah, so I might have oversold the quality of the rhymes just a tad, but in my defense only one of us believed me.