Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Monday, January 26, 2015

"...So, I Get Ten Ninja Clowns"

Over the holidays, my son branched out. He's still enthralled with construction trucks, but now he's equally into Legos and games. And thanks to one of the latter, he's also getting good at telling stories (which never stay on plot, but always include a boy seeing a burning building).

Anyway, these aren't even the craziest things my son has said the past couple months. They're just the craziest ones I remembered to write down.

We're starting dinner, but he's still in the living room. I know nothing we're eating that night will entice him to stop playing, but there's also a bowl of fruit on the table. So I call out, "I'm eating one of your graaaapes."
From the living room: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(now keep in mind he's never seen The Simpsons or Family Guy or anything like that)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(so we have no idea where he got this from)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(but he kept going for 8-10 seconds)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

And then he comes to dinner. Five minutes later.
~~~~~
I have just left the room. My nephew turns to my son.
"We need to see Uncle Nat."
"No, he's gone forever."
~~~~~
"Why don't I have brothers or sisters?"
"Because Mommy and I haven't had any other kids yet. Do you want a brother or sister?"
"I want Nick and Alex [his cousins] to be my brother and sister. I want Nick to be my sister and Alex to be my brother."
~~~~~
I'm trying to explain the concept of English.
"We speak English."
"I don't."
"Sure you do. The language we speak is called English."
"No, I speak Normal."
~~~~~
"Can I PLEASE eat the head of Santa?"
~~~~~
He stands next to one cousin, who is 7" taller, and looks up at him.
"We're the same size!"
~~~~~
To a cousin, while in said cousin's house:
"Did you know you have toys in your basement?! Come on, I'll show you!"
~~~~~
Explaining the rules of a game we're "playing":
"...so, I get ten ninja clowns."

As you might expect, the game has absolutely nothing to do with clowns, barely anything to do with ninjas, and he had just rolled a 6.
~~~~~
He holds up something built out of Duplo-style Lego blocks. It looks like a top-heavy tower.
"I made a pewer with a window."
"A what? You mean a tower?"
"No, a pewer."
"A pewer?"
"With a window."

It took another 20 seconds of back-and-forth before I figured out what a pewer is. (It's something that you point at people as you go "Pew! Pew! Pew!") (Duh.)

6 comments:

  1. I never heard of Ninja clowns.
    Poor Santa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You, captain of your own ninja army, have never heard of ninja clowns? If they're stealthy enough to evade your notice, that doesn't bode well for the rest of us. Not at all. (I suspect there are ten in my house right now.)

      Delete
  2. You've got to watch out for those ninja clown loopholes.

    My mother has a notebook of all the funny things that my niece has said. Makes for hysterical reading later on down the road.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since my wife commandeers all the notebooks in the house, I'm using this blog to capture all his witticisms.

      And speaking of capturing, I expect that's what the ninja clowns in my house will do to me (using one of their loopholes).

      Delete
  3. omg, i TOTALLY thought a pewer would be a great thing to call something that goes "pew pew" HAH!
    I don't know if i should be impressed by him, or a little saddened at myself...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should be impressed by your own intellect, saddened by mine, and entertained by my son's. And then you should start pewing till you can't pew no more.

      Delete