Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Footing the Bill

I have written1 here2 every day3 so far in 2016, but my footnote-to-post ratio4 has been at an all-time low.5 This won't fix that,6 but it might7 at least get things8 somewhat9 closer to normal.10


1 I.e. typed. No one really writes anymore. Hell, even my typing shows I'm still stuck in the authorial dark ages. Voice recognition is the new quill and ink.
2 In my office chair, sitting at my computer. Oh, you thought I was talking about my blog? Hardly. I never do that. People who blog about blogging don't get any readers. And I've got at least two.
3 I know, I'm surprised, too. I haven't even written typed narrated brainwaved any of them ahead of time.
4 What? It's totally a thing.
5 0.76, or 19 footnotes over 25 blog posts. Take away the three most footful, and it's 0.136 (3 in 22 posts). Downright pathetic.
6 This has been fixing to fix that for some time now. This and that may have been partners for centuries, but man oh man does that get around. Seriously. That will pair off with pretty much any word out there. It's past time to get that snipped.
7 I'm not always the most positive person. Okay, I'm never the most positive person. I tend to dwell on the negative. "Might" might be as close as I get to being positive. Pretty sure.
8 "Things" is such a vague word. In this instance, even I don't know what sort of stuff I'm referring to.
9 Some people recommend avoiding adverbs like "somewhat" and "a little" when writing. They say such words don't add anything, and often the whole phrase can be replaced by a stronger one-word descriptor. I'm somewhat skeptical.
10 Hey, don't laugh. I could be normal if I wanted to. Oh, come on! I could! I absolutely could. I mean, normal people still like footnotes, right?

4 comments:

  1. I love the footnotes...which probably doesn't lend much credit to that whole "normal people liking footnotes" thing, huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eh, being normal is overrated. It's boring. Being weird, absurd, absurdly weird, and/or a footnote fetishist are far more invigorating, wouldn't you agree?

      Delete
  2. Well (1), I don't have anything to write here (2). Wait, what? (3) This is getting creepy. (4) (S) (5)
    1: I don't have anything to write here
    2:. Wait, what?
    3: This is getting creepy.
    4: My footnotes have taken over!
    S: Aha! I made it in!
    5: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
    S: This is worse than before! I don't get a say in my own comment.
    6: Death to foot...note...
    S: Ha! I killed it with an ellipses (...'s)
    ...'s: we're back!
    S: OH NO! (5)
    S: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

    ReplyDelete