My dad (BCFN) submitted the shortest entry, coming in at a spry 13 words. I was impressed he fit all the words into a haiku, at least until I re-read it and realized the first two lines make absolutely no sense. I do like the last line, though: “Gift, come to papa!”
And I had to dock my sister (Naomi) a point for providing the perfect set-up for it, but not finishing with the line “Jane, you ignorant slut.”
The Alliterative Allomorph provided a wonderful little poem, and as for kmthelibrarian’s entry, I have no idea what game those two are playing, but I want in.
Everyone submitted such wonderful entries, which made my decision tough, but in the end I was able to settle on the two winners. You may not agree, but I am incredibly biased.
Winner the First
Courtesy of Scott:
Paul’s attempts to create a hybrid phoenix hamster routinely failed. Sometimes, he could even get the hamster to do several turns on the wheel before catching on fire and flying into the ceiling fan. One day, he thought, I’ll get air conditioning and this experiment will be a success.Here’s wishing Paul the best of luck with his experiment. Or, better yet, here’s wishing he videotapes it and puts it up on YouTube.
Winner the Second
Courtesy of Angela M.:
Sometimes when life gives you lemons… Ah, horseshit. I’d done my best to accept rejection in my life. I was, after all, a writer. But the bastard had no right to fire me. When I came the next day to talk sense into him, I saw her—the one he’d chosen to replace me at the desk outside his office, in his bed even. I gripped the wheel hard enough to lose sensation just before the engine’s roar matched my own. Turns out it’s easier getting your job back when the replacement doesn’t show on the first day of work.
Congratulations, Scott and Angela! I shall send your shiny new $25 Amazon gift card via electronic mail. If you don’t receive it in the next day or two, please let me know.
Thanks again to everyone who participated! I enjoyed all your stories and poems, and I’m sorry I can’t give you all free stuff. Maybe next time.