Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

No to Chicken, Yes to Safety

Reminder: There are only two days left to enter my blog’s one-year anniversary contest. Enter now for a chance at one of two Amazon gift cards!

The wedding is fast approaching — I estimate at somewhere around Mach 5 — and Denise and I are doing our best to tie up all the remaining loose ends.1 There’s much more to do than either of us originally thought, but we’re slowly chipping away at the list. I am, however, proud to announce that, as I stated last September, there will be no bouquet or garter thrown at our wedding. There will be no groomsmen, bridesmaids, flower girls, or ring bearers. There will be no pews, no priest, no Pachelbel’s Canon. No DJ, no band, no videographer. No Macarena, no Electric Slide. Thankfully, no rain.2

We’re not having a minimalist wedding, though. We’ll have a five-course Italian meal. We’ll have kids throw birdseed at us. We’ll have a song written just for the occasion. There will be ducks, glow sticks, noise makers, totem poles, the Goose Patrol, and, for reasons beyond my understanding, a giant metal pumpkin head. Also, a bear on a unicycle.3

Instead of the Chicken Dance, we’ll have the Safety Dance.

Instead of a rehearsal dinner, we’ll have a game night.

And instead of the same old wedding with the same old traditions, we’ll have a day that’s unique to us. A day that’s truly ours.

I can’t wait.

1 We’re mostly using slip knots.
2 According to both the local meteorologist and Blind Melon.
3 Don’t tell Denise. She doesn’t know about this one yet.


  1. yay for safety dance!
    It sounds awesome!

  2. I think Denise knows about the bear on the unicycle. It has to be why there's a giant metal pumpkin head.

    Congrats on the wedding, btw. All I got was a five minute ceremony at The Heart of Reno chapel across the street from the courthouse and then lots of gambling and drunkenness. I have, however, been married for 15 years. Who knew?

  3. Falen: Thanks! I only hope it's as awesome as we envision it to be. (That is, unless you were saying the Safety Dance sounds awesome... in which case, you're right!)

    Angela: no worries. Even if Denise has learned of the unicycling bear, at least she's still unaware of the inflatable bounce house and the Battle of the Barbershop Quartets I've got planned for later.

  4. Congratulations, Nate. Sounds like my kind of wedding. The birdseed idea is especially clever.