Thank the lord. His generosity keeps a roof over your head and food in your belly, and all he asks for in exchange is hours and hours of backbreaking labor. Some people might say it's a futile system, but they're just bad spellers.
Thank goodness. After all, goodness is far better than badness.2 And good Ness did such a fine job battling Al Capone and his little friend in the 30s. Both deserve our recognition.
Thank God. Without him, watching Providence College basketball between 1995-97 wouldn't have been nearly as interesting.
Thank heavens. Without the prospect of all those heavens, just think how many more amoral people there would be. And before you try to tell me there's only one heaven, I know people who have been to the seventh one, and at least one mountain lion who has visited multiple heavens on his way to Murgatroyd.
Yup, I have much to be thankful for. But this year, I'm mostly thankful for this little guy:
(Check out all of The Professor's latest photos on Flickr.)
I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving, even if you eat tofurkey instead of turkey, turducken instead of tofurkey, or the jell-o mold instead of turducken.3 And for all of you who live outside the U.S. and don't celebrate the holiday, I'll make sure to eat an extra helping for you. May your weekend be filled with fun, laughter, and enough food to feed the entire population of Turkey.
Thank you, come again.
1 Not to mention, you'd be more at risk of getting struck by a ricochet from a shooting star.
2 Unless we're talking Michael Jackson circa 1987.