There are a handful of improv groups in central CT. Last week, I auditioned with one for which I felt I might be a good fit. After a couple minor hiccups early on, I thought I did quite well, certainly well enough to guarantee a callback.
I was wrong.
This is becoming somewhat of a theme for me. Apparently, I came across as nervous, undecided, and occasionally frustrated, although I was none of these things.
1 Clearly, there's some disconnect between what I think I'm doing and what I'm actually doing.
I was under the impression I'd gotten pretty good at improv — at least on par with my fellow improvisers who keep getting snatched up for spots in established groups — but if I've learned anything over the past few months, it's this:
I'm not good at improv.
That's not to say I'm bad at it. I've been in some great scenes, and gotten plenty of laughs. But whereas a few days ago I'd have said I was pretty good, this latest setback (in a series of many) has finally made the truth sink in: I'm mediocre at best. It's become abundantly clear I'm not fit for any improv troupe.
2
It's okay, though; I've already come to terms with this. In fact, I think it might be for the best. In their rejection, the group said I showed potential and should keep at it. And I will, since I enjoy it. But this rejection may be just the impetus I need to shift most of my focus back to something I
know I'm good at: writing.
Then again, if I was so far off regarding my improv abilities, I might be deluding myself about my writing, too. After all, I've really only shared my fiction with friends and family, and it's not like they're going to say it sucks.
3 The novel I'm writing might be utter tripe. I have no idea.
And that got me thinking. I soon realized I'm probably not as good as I think I am at a slew of things. In fact, I've put together a list:
- Improv
- Novel-writing
- Web design (yep — my day job)
- Volleyball
- Imitating accents, eh?
- Hostage negotiation
- Self doubt
- Making lists
Luckily, there are still a few things at which I'm exactly as good as I think I am:
- Being a dad
Husbandry Being a husband
- Scrabble
- Photoshoppery
- Juggling knives
- Humorous footnotes4
Of course, I won't know if I'm
actually bad at novel-writing until people read my novel. And I won't
actually let people read my novel until I've finished the thing. So, I'd better stop lolly-gagging around here and get back to the word mines.
5
Wish me luck!
1 Except for one brief bout of indecision during the first warm-up exercise, when my brain wasn't yet firing on all cylinders. (Actually, my brain never fires on all cylinders; I always leave one cylinder alive to spread the word of Nate, the Geometrical Killer.)
2 Well, unless they're Damn Fools.
3 Sure, a few in the local writing group gave negative feedback, but I'd already learned not to trust their opinions.
4 As opposed to humerus footnotes, which I'm no longer allowed to do, ever since they discovered my medical credentials were courtesy of Milton Bradley.
5 Stepping on one of these causes a literal explosion.