Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Day 5: Oh, Those Golden Rings

This post (minus some edits) first ran on December 29, 2009.
Day 1Day 2Day 3Day 4 • Day 5 • Day 6Day 7Day 8Day 9Day 10Day 11Day 12

Finally, a worthwhile gift! Each ring expertly crafted, a beautiful golden brown, with just the right amount of breading... easily the best onion rings I’ve had in some time. It’s a shame there were only five of them.

The parrots, on the other hand, have been driving me batty. They gave me such a headache yesterday I had to stick them out on the porch with the hens, where their constant yapping is at least muffled. I also spent a half hour looking for the phones their Bluetooths are connected to, hoping to smash them into tiny bits shut them off, but I couldn't find them. And the Bluetooths themselves are going strong; the birds must have some covert spot where they recharge them overnight.

Anyway, I thought the Verizon parrot was bad, but the one who quarreled all yesterday has been chattering non-stop today about boys and fashion and mother-sparkling Twilight. Oh, and I’m pretty sure I just heard the head of the parrot mafia calling in a hit.

David Cassidy still has yet to eat, drink, or move from the tree. I think the doves' wings are starting to atrophy, too. At least, now that I've picked up some brie, the hens have started eating (me out of house and home).1

Speaking of eating out of house and home, I think I'll do just that. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll even find some more of those onion rings.

1 Yet, the parrots might turn out to be an even bigger strain on my wallet; Denise hinted that all their calls were being added to my phone bill.



  1. Thank you, Anthony, and a happy new year to you, too. In 2012 may the world not end, and may you only have birds in your house by choice... preferably on your dinner plate.