Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Chucking Puppies

If you haven’t seen this story already, basically on Monday a student in Germany attacked some Hell’s Angels with a puppy, then took off on a stolen bulldozer.

I know, pretty standard stuff, right?

Here’s where it gets interesting. A few co-workers and I began to consider whether that could be a viable tactic for dealing with management: If we hurled a puppy at a group of them, would that solve our managerial problems?1

We determined that no, that wouldn’t solve anything, since we’d have wasted a perfectly good puppy. The suggestion was then made to fling giant hissing cockroaches instead, but those, too, were deemed too good for the managers. Eventually we hit upon a solution: We would chuck two groups of managers at each other, preferably using catapults on neighboring skyscrapers for maximum damage.

There, problem solved.

I doubt we’ll actually go through with it, though. I mean, if we can’t flee the scene on a stolen bulldozer, what’s the point?

1 Not that we have a problem with all managers — my current one is quite good, in fact — but when managers huddle together in a group, it’s scientifically proven that they congeal into one vile, soul-sucking mass, and therefore, it’s perfectly acceptable to throw things at them.


  1. called me a co-worker!! =) I, too, like my current manager, but sifting through the past, I can see quite a few candidates for the "chucking" pool.

  2. Well, it was easier to group you all together. If I referred to us as "a co-worker and a former co-worker and Easter Island and I," then I'd have to go off on a tangent and explain how you were part of the recent mass exodus to a rival insurance company and how Easter Island is actually a co-worker, not an island, and while it might have been fun since I do enjoy tangents, I'd have then forgotten what I was talking about and never gotten to the catapults.