Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Mind the Gap

Between May and December of last year, The Wheel was eerily silent. I had my reasons for abandoning my post(s), though for the first time I can recall, laziness wasn't one of them.

Maybe you're curious what I was up to during my hiatus. Probably not, but I don't really care; I'm going to tell you anyway. Here's a taste of what has happened in my life the past eight months:
  • I lost 15 lbs on my new diet regimen, the Get-Stressed-and-Overwork-Yourself-Fixing-Up-the-House-to-Sell Diet Plan. (I have since gained 2/3 of it back with the classic Show-No-Willpower-During-the-Holidays Plan.)
  • We moved one town away, to a bigger house with a larger yard, and we still don't have room for all our belongings. (Okay, technically we do, since we haven't sold the old house yet. But that's a tale for another day.)
  • In the span of four days in June, I laughed at a big baby with some senior citizens, flashed a stranger on a busy street, played ping pong with a trio of Swedes, finished off a Ginger Ninja, and high-fived a guy who once wrote a novel about a sock monkey.
  • For Halloween, I reprised my costume from a decade years earlier and went as the superhero Captain Spatula. (My first time around, he'd been merely Spatula Man. With his promotion, he got a shinier cape and spiffier kitchen utensils.)
  • I won a 100-word writing contest primarily because I found a way to make the word "weekly" creepy. No, really. I'll share it with you soon.
  • My cat was named Mr. January in a nationally distributed calendar. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, librarians everywhere are already fawning over lil' Schrödinger. Thanks, Baker & Taylor!
  • My son turned four. He's damn cute.


  1. Your cat is now more famous than you.
    I want to hear more about the ping pong game.
    The Professor is sure growing up!

    1. Yes, but when I put the ping pong in context, it's not nearly as exciting. I was at a conference, and between sessions we started playing. They all played as poorly as I did, and we lost track of time, ending up missing the first 15 minutes of the day's final session.

  2. Ah, yes, the Get-Stressed-And-Overwork-Yourself-Fixing-Up-The-House-To-Sell Diet Plan. I am familiar with that, as well as the subsequent holiday weight gain. I moved 1500 miles away to a smaller house with a smaller yard. Half my stuff's still in boxes.

    Looking forward to reading the results of the 100-word contest.

    And your son really is damn cute. Also, congrats to Mr. January.

    1. The GSOYFUHS diet may not be the healthiest method, but it is effective. In fact, in my experience, it's second only to the Insomni-Mono Diet. That one cut 15 off in 1/4 of the time.

      Our actual move was certainly easier than yours, but at least you traded up for warmer environs. We traded up for a driveway three times the length. (Fingers crossed for a mild winter.) And best of luck with all the boxes.

      Pro tip: Why keep your boxes stacked in the corner or a separate room, when you can live and write in a magnificent box fort?