To start the year off right, I procrastinated for over two months before writing my first blog post. (Yes, I consider this to be a good thing. After all, I have a black belt in procrastination.)1In the interim, however, I did write a 100-word story containing the words
pry - jet - blue - desert - gnaw
"He sprayed you?"
"With one of those new Jango Fett--sorry, new-fangled jet power washers. Called me impure."
"You should've reported him."
"I did. That's why he chopped down spry moose. My spruce. From my daughter's memorial garden. He said it defiled his yard."
"Prejudice brings out people's shoe trades. Er, true shades."
"Yet, if it's his house..."
"I know. And he had me wino saver. Sign a waiver. When I rented the place from the affluent buck. Dammit. Abluent f--"
"I get it. So, you're here to lodge another complaint?"
"What? No. Biz hottie's in try monk."
This brings my total wins on literary agent Janet Reid's blog to five. I do have an advantage, though: She happens to enjoy clever wordplay, which I've employed in four of my five victories.2
But enough about me. Go check out the other winning entry and all the other finalists, all of which are bucking frilliant.
1 It's not an actual level you can attain, like in martial arts. All it means is sometimes I wear a black belt while procrastinating. Usually because I've chosen to wear black shoes that day. I may rock the socks-and-sandals look, but I'm not entirely devoid of fashion sense.
2 Or three of them, if you don't consider the puns in my first win clever.