Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Robot Haiku Contest Winners

First of all, thank you to everyone who entered this year's contest! Because of you — and especially Tara and Tyrean, who also spread the word on their blogs — my job as judge was that much harder. Yet, I went into the judging like a well-oiled machine. Too well oiled, in fact. My mind kept slipping, and at the end I was drained.

Anyway, onto the awards. As usual, the mechanisms of my judging were guided by extreme prejudice and no logic whatsoever. And if you haven't already done so, make sure to read all of the entries.

Dishonorable Mention

Once again, my father (BCFN) insulted both haiku and the prize in 17 syllables. I won't be reprinting his schlock here.

Plain Old Mention

I appreciated Laurie Peel's entry: A haiku praising my haiku about how to write haiku. But it had nothing to do with robots, so she's out.

Honorababble Mentions

These two would have been in the running, if not for one pesky extra syllababble. It's too bad; I enjoyed them both. First, from Tyrean Martinson, life comes to the lifeless:
lights switch on displays
after the science fair closes
a mind awakens
And Budd harkens the dawning of a new age:
Rise my Bretheren
let us strike down our oppressors
Enter the steel age
Honorable Mentions

Thanks to Owen, we learned the fate of someone long since forgotten:
Out of a soundless
wasteland sticks the bold head of
Mister Roboto
Zongrik showed us we're not so far off from the Jetsons after all:
digital housemaid
room disinfection robot
it's the modern age
And Tara Tyler tells us what we pretty much already know:
laziness is doom
robots do all and faster
humans obsolete

First Place — Traditional

I find this category the toughest to choose every year. This one was very close, but in the end, I called in the super-secret tie-breaking judge (my wife), who coaxed me into choosing a haiku by someone I had to coax into participating. From Lynda R Young:
A rusted robot
Its mechanics whirs and purs
Needs oil and falls down
First Place — Humorous / Creative

Humor was a little harder to come by this year than in past contests — apparently ninjas and pirates are funnier subjects than robots — but it didn't stop Mooderino. He takes home the prize with this little number:
As R2D2
Exclaimed to C3PO
"Brr wee ping woo woo!"
First Place — Robopocalypse

I knew I'd be awarding a third prize, but I only decided on the category after I chose the third winner. Budd claims this one with some sage advice on how we can survive the uprising:
How can we survive?
the machines have risen up.
Divide by zero
And that'll do it. Lynda, Moody, and Budd, send me an email and let me know your gift card preference (Amazon, iTunes, etc).

Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks again to everyone who entered!


  1. Wow, these haiku's are amazing. Yes we are living very similar to the Jetsons these days.

    1. I suppose so, but if I had one of those flying bubble cars that would certainly seal the deal.

  2. Doh, you know I think i said lets when I was counting it out and then wrote down let us. Oh well.

    Thanks for selecting one of mine for first. I had a lot of fun writing these.

    1. Glad you had fun writing them, Budd. That's the real prize. (Also, the $25.)

  3. Nate these were really good...sorry I got so busy as to not participate. I look forward to your next offering though...I so could have rocked a roboaiku!

    1. Alas, as I've deemed it an annual event, I won't be asking for haiku again until next May. But perhaps I'll find another reason for a contest in the interim...

  4. wooooooooooo, thank you so much!
    I didn't think I would win
    Yay, well done winners!

    see what I did there? I think you've created a Haiku monster ;)
    All the haikus were brilliant :)

    1. A haiku monster:
      5 heads, 7 arms, 5 feet.
      What a specimen!

      I'm glad I could unleash the haiku writer in you, Lynda. But remember: With great power comes great responsibi--no, I'm kidding. Go wild.

  5. CONGRATS to all the winners!

    Thank you for your recent visit to check out my Reflections Post.

    1. That's just the kind of blogger I am. You scratch my blog, I scratch yours.

  6. Congratulations to the winners! They are all awesome writers:)

  7. Nate - I'm sorry I missed this post a week agao (where have I been in the blogging world?) - sorry. Thanks for the shout out! I didn't mean to add a pesky extra syllable . . .that's what happens when I haiku. I say too much.

    1. Whereas I don't confine such behavior to haiku; I say too much no matter what I'm writing. Extra words, unnecessary adverbs, even little tangents about how I just got back from my most painful visit to the dentist ever (...and it was only a cleaning). Honestly, there's no reason why I needed to tell you that.