My Bi-Monthly Post to Prove I'm Still Alive

I haven't written anything here in a while.^{[citation needed]} Thus, by now a good number of you have surely come to the conclusion that I'm dead. I assure you I'm not. As proof, I offer you this: I am writing this post.

Okay, fine. Technically I could have written and scheduled this ages ago. I assure you I didn't. As proof, I offer you this: I don't plan ahead; I procrastinate.¹

Anyway, here is some of what's happened over the past few months:

• My wife officially beat cancer a second time.
• My improv group had its debut performance. We rocked.
• My son became fully potty-trained. It rocked.
• I made umpteen repairs to our house with my own two hands.²
• One of my photos was used in a Buzzfeed article. (It's #3.) I only found out after my friend Scott (the pinchee) was asked if it was him or his doppleganger.
• For Halloween I dressed as a Disney lawyer for a Disney-themed party, handing out cease-and-desist orders to everyone else there.
• I read over 100 books.³
• The National Science Foundation asked to use haiku from my 2012 Robot Haiku contest in an upcoming campaign. (I'll post a link once the campaign launches.)
• I went for a jog today.⁴
• I wrote this post.⁵

So there you have it. I'm alive.

Probably.


¹ Note to self: Write this footnote before posting.
² "Umpteen" means "innumerable," or in other words, "unable to be counted," so technically what I said is true. (It turns out I'm much better at doing repairs with my father's own two hands.)
³ Almost every one contained pictures of trucks.
⁴ This is more impressive than it sounds. Not much more, mind you, and it really depends on your interpretation of the word "impressive," but still.
⁵ This is far less impressive than it sounds.