Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Friday, April 24, 2015

Pop Quiz

  1. What is the proper response for someone upon first seeing I have a new blog post?

    1. "Excellent! Some Nately humor is exactly what I need today. Make me laugh, you crazy monkey."
    2. "I'll click, but there'd better be some pictures and stories of his son." [clicks on link] [scans post] "Great. That's ten seconds of my life I'm never getting back."
    3. "Wait — people still have blogs?! That is so 2011. Get out of the stone age, you troglodyte!"
    4. [keeps scrolling through feed, looking for cat videos]
  2. This is my first blog post in three months. Why haven't I blogged at all during this time?

    1. I've been lazy. I mean busy. Or in a coma. Yeah, that's it: a coma.
    2. I haven't had anything interesting to say. Sure, that never stopped me before, and it's not stopping me from writing this post, but... um... I had a point. No matter, it's obvious this is the correct answer.
    3. I've been working on a top secret project for the U.S. government. I can't share the exact nature of my work, but I will say it involves weapons-grade plutonium and ten dozen free-range chickens.
    4. Other: ____________ (insert answer in the comments)
  3. After this extended hiatus — the longest I've ever taken — why did I choose to return to blogging?

    1. Blogging is fun! Wheeeeeee!
    2. I figured I should alert people to that fact that I still have a blog, seeing as how I'm going to announce a new haiku contest next week.
    3. Revenge. Revenge on whom, you ask? Oh, you'll find out soon enough. Yes you will. Mwahahahahaha!
    4. I could no longer stand idly by while the world suffered through such a horrifying shortage of footnotes.1
Okay, pencils down. Now tally up your scores and consult the chart below to see how you fared.

0-3: You sicken me.
4-12: You were just guessing, weren't you? Admit it.
13: You win!2
14-18: Ooh, you overshot the mark. Stop trying so hard.
19+: Damn overachiever.

1 And with this meager offering, the Great Footnote Famine of 2015 officially comes to an end. #NeverForget
2 What do you win? This magnificent footnote! (To place it in your trophy case, simply chisel it out of your screen.)


  1. Wait, how many points per letter? Damn you.
    For the record, my answers were A, B, and D.

    1. Alex, because you couldn't figure out the scoring system yourself, you lose points. And then, because you shared your answers with the rest of the class(less people who read my blog) -- which encourages cheating -- your score is dropped further.

      You now have -2.7 points. Even I have no idea what that means.