5 Lists of 5 For No Reason in Particular

I hadn't posted in a while, so I thought I would. And why bother with a cohesive idea when I can just put together a bunch of lists? (Okay, so I guess I had reasons after all.)

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5 Things My 6-Year-Old Son Has Said Somewhat Recently

1. "He's a water jet. He can't go in the water."
   "Can't? If he can't go in water, shouldn't he be a non-water jet?"
   "Well, at the beginning there is a silent 'non'."
2. "I'm tired of sleeping."
3. "I was trying to speak to the chipmunk in bird language, since I don't know how to speak chipmunk."
4. "I fell in love with her the first day I met her... I'm trying to get to marry her, but she has a different teacher this year."
5. "When people love me, I just hug 'em."

5 Non-Traditional Ways to Defend Yourself Against Attack by Vampire

1. Stay inside your house all the time.
   And don't invite anyone in. I mean no one. Vampires can only come in if they're invited. Did your husband just bring out the trash? Chances are he's been turned. Lock him out.
2. Stay outside all the time.
   And keep heading east. Move with the sun. As long as that glorious ball of flame keeps shining overhead—and as long as you steer clear of the shade—you'll be safe.
3. Drink nothing but holy water.
   One taste, and your blood will burn that vamp from the inside out. A couple round battle scars on your neck are a small price to pay for victory. (Holy frijoles and/or guacamole are also fine ways to supplement your diet.)
4. An army of drone bodyguards just out of visual range. Armed with lasers.
   With lasers!
5. Clothing entirely covered with pointy wooden stakes.
   The latest in Milan fashion! And if that toothy character tries anything, just give him a great big hug.

5 Books I've Stopped Reading But Have Left Bookmarks In, and Why

1. The Yiddish Policemen's Union, Michael Chabon
   p. 236 of 411, 3 years ago
   I tend to slog through Chabon novels—I paused for 3 months 50 pages into Kavalier & Clay—but I still kind of want to know how it ends.
2. In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, Michael Pollan
   p. 106 of 205, 2 years ago
   When we moved, this ended up back on the bookshelf. I only remembered today, while making this list.
3. Wonderbook: The Illustrated Guide to Creating Imaginative Fiction, Jeff Vandermeer
   p. 16 of 357, 1 year ago
   Opening chapters didn't keep my interest. Rather than read straight through, when I jump back in I'll skip around a bit.
4. The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
   p. 232 of 402, 3 months ago
   Made it through book one, but apparently over-the-top Russian satire isn't really my thing. Maybe I'll go back to it?
5. The Nowhere Man, Gregg Hurwitz
   p. 84 of 358, 23 hours ago
   It was late, and I had work in the morning.

5 Ways Vampires Can Counteract Your Non-Traditional Defenses Against Them

1. Cut your power. Repeatedly.
   With your internet down and phone dead, eventually you won't be able to pay your landlord/mortgage/taxes, and soon you'll be out on your ass. Hey, good things come to those who wait.
2. Full-body prosthetics from top Hollywood makeup artists.
   They'll walk right up to you, with you none the wiser. They won't be on fire or nothin'. And then you'll be toast.
3. Two words: Food taster.
4. Three words: Trained attack bats.
   Possibly radio-controlled attack bats. Because, fun!
5. A Spider-Man style upside-down kiss. Of death.
   Alas, your dress made of stakes can't protect you against attacks from above. Try all you want, but you'll never quite touch that man's heart.

5 Reasons You Should Be Disappointed With This Post

1. I didn't include a single picture of my son with his curls and gap-toothed grin.
2. Two vampire-related lists, and no cracks about Twilight.
3. Not a single footnote. Not one.¹
4. There's no list of ways to counteract the vampires' counters. You're doomed.
5.  

¹ Nope. Sorry. Adding one after the fact doesn't count.

Halfway Down the Stairs

In my last post, I recommended two books. Or rather, I said I enjoyed them, which is essentially the same thing. The thing is, I may have overstated my enjoyment, at least for one of them. Oh, and my write-up contained other inaccuracies as well. Let me 'splain.

I hyped both books as the type that would normally cause me to temporarily abandon my secondary book (as I always have two going at a time). But, in retrospect, that was a lie. A more accurate assessment: The Martian begged to be my sole focus. Blackbirds, on the other hand, was just entertaining enough I couldn't bring myself to put it aside.

Mind you, that's not a black mark on Blackbirds. A lesser tale would have been cast aside faster than you can say "post haste." I'm merely saying that, under different circumstances, it still wouldn't have been a one-at-a-time book.¹

On to The Martian. I stand by my statement that it's one of the best books I've read, but I should mention it's not one of the best-written books I've read. I mean, it's written well enough, but there is unevenness to the narration (particularly the third-person omniscient sections I referred to last post). And though you suffer with astronaut Mark Watney throughout, you don't get a real sense of his character. The story, like Mark, is focused almost entirely on his survival. Unlike most great books, at its core this one is not about people or relationships. It's about crazy scenarios and clever solutions. And I loved it.

Although, I would've liked an epilogue.


One last thing. I've never been good at keeping track of what I read, but I did want to share a short list of the other books I've loveloveloved this past year. A few others came close, but these are the three that grabbed hold and didn't let go:

• What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, Randall Munroe
• Red Rising and Golden Son, Pierce Brown²

¹ I also spoke of Blackbirds' plot twists. I'm not sure why; thinking back I can't recall any real twists. (Luckily, it didn't need them. Its concept and characters were compelling enough for this humble reader.)
² Now these two are rife with plot twists. And backstabbing. And backstabbingly good plot twists. (Sure, you may not trust my judgment after my misstatement last time, but don't worry. There's absolutely no chance I'll be recanting these statements in a future post.)^3
3 Note: I reserve the right to recant other statements.

Upstairs Downstairs

I tend to read two books at once. An upstairs book and a downstairs book. I typically try for different genres, or at least different enough plots the two don't blend together.

Sometimes, one will be so engaging I push the other aside. I'll read the greater book both upstairs and downstairs while the lesser one sits, waiting, till I finish devouring its better. This probably happens a few times a year.

I can't remember the last time I wanted to promote both books to solo status at the same time. But that's what happened this past week. It was like a Mexican standoff. Only, you know, with neither book written in Spanish.

The upstairs book, Blackbirds by Chuck Wendig, was a well-written and entertaining affair. Basic plot: Miriam Black can tell, with one touch, how and when someone will die. But when she meets a person she actually cares about for the first time in ages, she learns she'll be present for his murder in a few weeks' time. From there, things get a little crazy.

Wendig's propensity for profanity and graphically descriptive metaphors may turn some people off, but his intriguing characters and plot twists kept me rapt. I'll be seeking out the next in the series in short order.

The downstairs book, on the other hand, was one of the best I've ever read. When a novel hits all the bestseller lists and gets uber-popular, I always assume it won't live up to the hype. Usually, that's the case. Not so with Andy Weir's The Martian.

Hot damn it's a good book.

Basic plot: An astronaut gets stranded on Mars, and the only way he can survive is by MacGyvering his way out of life-or-death situations left and right. Each peril is entirely plausible, the science employed is legit, and the narrative is punctuated by a stellar sense of humor. The couple third-person omniscient scenes feel a bit heavy-handed, but overall The Martian is a gripping, fantastic story. It's one of only a couple books I read this past year which I utterly loveloveloved. You should read this book.

Of course, now that I've dispensed with each of the above, I need to find a new upstairs book and a new downstairs book. Any suggestions?

The Deceptively Creepy Homonym

Last month, I won another writing contest on literary agent Janet Reid's blog.

Stated as such, my victory sounds ho-hum, a walk in the park. But in fact the opposite is true. The quality of the writing in her contests has always been stellar, and the authors have repeatedly raised the bar in recent years. Hell, in a July contest she deemed my tale "a perfect entry," yet it still wasn't enough to pull out the win.

This time around, we had to work these five words into a story of 100 words or less:

week - rag - creak - snag - peak

Once school ended, Ben and Jacob headed for the woods. They followed the winding mountain trail until they heard the small creak on the other side of the ridge. The boys clambered up and each took a peak. From either point, the old mill was barely visible, clothed in vines.

Inside, a gaunt figure slumped against rusty machinery, its arm snagged in the gears. The boys poked and prodded the body a while, till it stirred.

"Please... help me," the man said weekly.

Jacob dragged out water and crackers before joining Ben at the door. He smiled.

"Maybe next Friday."

You might not catch it at first—many readers didn't—but I used three of the words where you'd expect their homonyms instead. The first two feel like they could be typos. Clever, sure, but not too exciting. The third one, though...

Yeah, I know. It gives me chills, too.

This marks my third win in Janet Reid's contests. Winning with humor (and bad puns) didn't surprise me, but now I've also done so by being serious and seriously creepy. Considering I've only entered ten times or so, I must be doing something right.

Even if none of you will ever go for a walk with me in the woods again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(By the way, make sure you go and read all the entries. They're fantastic. And grab yourself a copy of The Drifter by Nicholas Petrie, my spoils from the contest. I devoured it in short order. It's a taut thriller with great characters, wonderful prose, and a dog who—spoiler alert—doesn't die. It's out next week.)

(Also, this story is one of the few documented instances where it's perfectly acceptable to use an adverb within a dialogue tag. Don't try this at home, kids.)

The Land of Abandoned Books

I've been feeling rather listless of late, so I thought I'd make a list.

Prior to my 20s, only once had I chosen to read a book and cast it aside before finishing it. But the older I get, the more I realize how little free time I have and how many things I still want to read. If the book doesn't grab me, I stop grabbing it.

Along with the increasing number of eBooks and book sale purchases I'm now putting aside as I really embrace this philosophy, here are my most notable abandonments, in chronological order. Some might surprise you.

1. The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkein
   I was 14 or 15. I'd just finished The Hobbit. And then, calling my geekdom completely into question, I gave up on this tome about 40 pages in.
    
2. Crime & Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
   'Twas May of my senior year of high school, and I didn't have to write a paper on it. Nevertheless, I stuck it out for 4/5 of the book, more than most of the class.
    
3. Star Maker, Olaf Stephenson
   The first assigned reading in my freshman-year sci-fi class. Again, no paper was required. Found it so dull I forgot the title. This might not even be the right book.
    
4. Quicksilver, Neal Stephenson
   I loved his three previous works. Cryptonomicon was just as dense, and longer, yet fantastic. But I couldn't get into this. Made it 30 pages in 6 weeks. And done.
    
5. Wish I Could Be There: Notes from a Phobic Life, Allen Shawn
   I had high hopes. Written by the brother of Wallace Shawn, and son of NY Times editor William Shawn. Surely he'd share some amazing stories, right? Wrong.
    
6. The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster & Jules Feiffer
   Loved it as a kid. Tried re-reading as an adult and the magic was gone. Just like with M.C. Hammer and The Neverending Story (the film). You can't go back.
    
7. The Drawing of the Three, Stephen King
   Book two of the Dark Tower series. Barely made it through book one. Yet I've truly enjoyed the other half-dozen King works I've read. Go figure.
    
8. Watchman, Ian Rankin
   Not to be confused with the Alan Moore graphic novel. All of Rankin's other mysteries have hooked me, but this was his first, re-issued. Just not the same.
    
9. Anathem, Neal Stephenson
   Furthest I've ever read before giving up (350 pages). Really liked some scenes, but had no interest in anything going on. Another 600 pages to go? Screw that.
    
10. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz
    Yep, the Pulitzer prize winner. At times very witty and interesting. More often, Dominican slang and phrases hurled without context. Latter overrules former.

Of course, it goes the other way as well. I've finished some books I really shouldn't have. The Chronicles of Narnia sucked the life out of me, and I should have quit after two. I stuck through all seven out of sheer stubbornness.

I nearly lost it reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol (my scathing review), strained to get through The Strain by Guillermo del Toro & Chuck Hogan (scathing review #2), and was blind as to why Jose Saramago's Blindness won the Nobel Prize. Yet I finished each one. And let me tell you, I was lucky to survive. Because whenever I came across something done poorly — and oh, there was plenty — I mentioned it to my wife. Each time, after two or three such remarks, Denise was ready to kill me. I must say she showed phenomenal restraint.

So if you ever find me bludgeoned to death with a book of dubious quality lying nearby, you know what happened. I didn't shut the book, and I didn't shut my mouth.

How about you? What's the most surprising (or acclaimed) book you've ever cast aside?

The End of All That Jazz

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

Zoinks? Have we reached the end? Really? And did I really just say "zoinks"?

FILM

Zodiac
I've loved David Fincher's work ever since Se7en. This one brings us San Francisco in the grips of the Zodiac killer in the '60s and '70s, and follows three characters obsessed with tracking him down. Well-acted, well-written, and, well, a pleasure to watch. It doesn't try to dazzle like Fight Club, and didn't have the hype of The Social Network, but this is one exceptionally strong film.

TELEVISION

Zoom
I know nothing about this kids' show from the '70s, but my wife said it was fun. And my wife has good taste,¹ so it must have been.

GAME

Zooloretto
As delivery trucks bring you animals, try to plan out your zoo to get the most visitors. The male and female of a species can get you babies, or you can swipe an animal from a competitor. Just be careful not to overpopulate or have too wide a variety of creatures, or you'll have to stick some in your barn and that'll hurt your business. A fun family game for 2-5 players. With flamingos.

MUSIC

Zebrahead
They started out as more of a hip-hop funk band, although they've since migrated to a more standard pop/punk rock sound. With dual lead-singers providing a back-and-forth singing/rapping dynamic, they've got a fun sound and great energy.

LITERATURE

The Z Was Zapped: A Play in Twenty-Six Acts by Chris Van Allsburg
A creative way to teach your children the alphabet, from the writer-illustrator of Jumanji and The Polar Express.² With each turn of the page, another letter undergoes an alliterative transformation... often with dire consequences. I like dire consequences.³

And now I'm zapped, too.

It's been a long, tiring run this month, but I've had a blast highlighting some of my favorite alphabetic hidden gems. I do hope you've enjoyed reading my letters.


¹Especially in husbands.
² Not to mention his other Z-book, Zathura. Oh, crap. I said "not to mention" and then I mentioned it. I'm always contradicting myself (except for when I'm not).
³ Dire Straits are pretty good, too, but they only help you learn the letters M, T, and V.

The Age-Old Question

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

Yeesh, only two letters left. Let's make it one, shall we?

FILM

Young Frankenstein
Dr. Frankenstein (pronounced Frahnkenshteen) would rather not be associated with his mad grandfather. But he inherits the man's castle and equipment, and then stumbles upon his writings (as well as his beautiful lab assistant), and begins to change his mind... to the fury of the townspeople. With Gene Wilder, the amazing Madeleine Kahn, and Peter Boyle as The Monster, this is perhaps Mel Brooks' finest (and funniest) work.

TELEVISION

The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles
An epic adventure each episode with the young man (or younger boy) who would become the world's favorite whip-wielding archaeologist? Yes, please.

GAME

Yinsh
When you move one of your rings across the board, leave a disc of your color in its place, and flip over every disc your ring jumps. You're trying to get five of your color in a row, while blocking your opponent from doing the same. And you're trying to do this three times, but with each success you get one fewer ring to work with. A wonderful abstract strategy game for 2 players (and one of six in project GIPF).

MUSIC

Young M.C.
The first CD I ever bought was Young M.C's Stone Cold Rhymin'. You know, back before rap went all gangsta on us. Back when it was fun. Now, some music from the '80s hasn't aged too well — surprising, I know — but this album, at least, is just as good now as then. Perhaps better, when compared to everything that's come since. So don't just stand there; bust a move.

LITERATURE

Yukon Ho! by Bill Watterson
Calvin & Hobbes is the best comic strip in the history of comic strips. If you didn't already know this, you need to go directly to your local bookstore or library (or friend's house) and start reading. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200,¹ just go and fill your day with a precocious 6-year-old and his stuffed tiger. And if your friend asks why you're in their house, tell 'em I sent you. And that I say hi.

You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you just may find, you get whatever the hell I decide to give you.


¹Although, if you happen to come across $200 on the street, you might as well pick it up. (And as your new financial advisor, I get 10%.)

A Former Flame

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

Mostly In Jest Edition!

FILM

X-Men: First Class
This film, about the group's beginnings, is a rare thing: A prequel that surpasses the original — and in this case, its sequels. I can think of only one other film that does the same, and it also came out last year. (Are there others? If you can think of any, share 'em in the comments.)

TELEVISION

X-Men: The Animated Series
According to the resident X-Men expert (i.e. my brother), this series is far superior to the movies for a couple reasons. For one, it stays more consistent with the comic book characters' stories and origins. But most importantly, because Gambit was in it. And who am I to argue with the expert?

GAME

X-Men: Alert
My brother had this game. We played it once or twice. It was okay, I guess.

MUSIC

X-Men: The Soundtrack
It's probably decent enough.

LITERATURE

X-Men: The Flamethrower
The kids love this one.

Okay, fine. You want some real recommendations? XiangQi is an ancient form of Chinese chess (which I have never played), and Xavier Rudd has a great folksy, bluesy sound.

The other three options, however, I'm sticking with.

XOXO,
Nate

The P.O.T.U.S. (#43)

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

Well, well, well. Look what the Nate dragged in...

FILM

Waking Ned Devine
After their friend Ned dies upon learning he won the lottery, Jackie and Michael decide to make the best of it. All they have to do is get everyone in their small Irish village to pretend Michael is Ned when the lottery officials visit, and everyone wins. Of course, it won't be quite as easy as all that, not in this village. A fun little film.

TELEVISION

The Wire
I'm only one season in so far, but this show is good. The Baltimore drug scene is shown from both sides: dealers and law enforcement. But in this fight, neither side is entirely clean: there's bureaucracy and corruption, informants and rivals, and people on both sides have their own agendas. Every character is complex, never a caricature, and most of all: human. The second-highest rated show of all time on iMDb.

GAME

Wits & Wagers
Behold! A trivia game where you don't need to know a lick of trivia! Do you know the height of the tallest giraffe ever recorded? Or how many of Picasso's works have sold for over $1 million? Probably not. But hey, neither do your opponents. Each game is only seven questions long, and every answer is numeric. Once everyone makes their guess, bet on whose you think is closest.¹ It's the perfect combination of gambling and trivia.
For 3-7 players (or teams).

MUSIC

Within Temptation
For someone who became a fan of Evanescence before few had even heard of them, I'm surprised it took me so long to discover this group. This Dutch band has a similar sound, only more... epic. If you like symphonic metal at all, especially with female vocals, you need check these guys out.²

LITERATURE

The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
I first read this book in elementary school and loved it. But here's the astonishing thing: I reread it last year... and loved it. Most childhood favorites lose their shine in adulthood, but this one holds up. An eccentric millionaire has died, and sixteen unlikely characters are brought together as potential heirs. All they need to do is find out who murdered Sam Westing. A complex mystery with a sly sense of humor, The Westing Game will always have a spot on my shelf.

Wait, wait, don't tell me. We've reached the end, haven't we? Word.


¹ Without going over. It's like "The Price is Right," only without some old guy telling you to neuter your pets (or that other guy from the Drew Carey Show).
² Or, if you prefer a sound slightly weaker than symphonic metal, check out The Weakerthans. You can thank me later.

Southbound Geese

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

Very fine choices, these...

FILM

The Visitor
Walter Vale (Richard Jenkins), a Connecticut College¹ professor, is basically just going through the motions in both his job and his life until he discovers two illegal immigrants in his little-used New York apartment. He invites them to stay, and connects with Tarek through music, but a misunderstanding in the subway leads to the young Syrian's arrest. Only as Vale fights against his friend's deportation does he really find reason to return to the world of the living. A fantastic film.

TELEVISION

Veronica Mars
The high school-aged daughter of a detective moonlights as a private investigator while also trying to solve the murder of her best friend Lilly. Mars' witty popular-girl-turned-outcast is well complemented by fun, complex characters such as Lilly's former boyfriend Logan, habitually underestimated rival detective Vinnie Van Lowe, and Piz.² The first season, especially, is some of the best television I've seen.

GAME

Vinci
I've pretty much already described this game, since it's the more complex precursor to Small World, which I recommended on Saturday. But I just haven't played many V games.³

MUSIC

The Verve Pipe
Most people only know this group for their hit single, "The Freshman." But did you know it was actually the third song released off that album?⁴ Or that their other albums, although not as commercially successful, are just as good? Or how about that their only original album since 2001 is for kids? (Actually, I didn't know that last one until five minutes ago...)

LITERATURE

The Very Quiet Cricket by Eric Carle
My son is nine months old. He judges books by color, page-turning ease, and most of all, taste. Yet, this lesser-known story by Eric Carle (of Hungry Caterpillar fame) is perhaps the only one we own without tooth (or gum) marks; every time we pull it out, he must get to the end to hear the cricket chirp. A real page turner.

Vin.<sup>5


1</sup> My alma mater! Even if none of the movie was filmed on campus... (Note: "alma mater" is Latin" for "all my mother," since my mom is also a Conn alum.) (Note: "alum" is short for "aluminum"... unless you're from England, where "aluminum" is called a "lift.")
² Piz sucks.
³ Unless V stands for video, in which case I have played a few. But still, not many. At least not since '95.
⁴ And, in this listener's esteemed opinion (I esteem it, anyway), it's only the third-best song released off that album. (My opinion mirrors the order of release: "Cup of Tea," "Photograph," and then their (reworked after the album's release) hit.)
⁵ It's like Fin, only this way I get to end with a drink. Cheers!

A Ram's Better Half

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

Um... uh...

FILM

Unbreakable
Many people believe M. Night Shyamalan made one great movie and then a bunch of crap. Not so. He made two great movies.¹ I realize some may not have the same love for the film's deliberate pacing, or its interplay between emotionally distant characters. But it's both a wonderful depiction of characters overcoming internal struggles and a sort-of comic book hero origin story for real life. And I think it's his best film.

TELEVISION

Undeclared
When people talk about Judd Apatow's early unappreciated genius, they usually bring up Freaks & Geeks. But this — his second prematurely cancelled show — was nearly as good. A bunch of college freshman try to navigate the craziness of their first year of college. And it's especially hard for Steve Carp, whose newly divorced father won't seem to go away. It's fun, dramatic, and served with the usual dose of Apatow ad-libbing.

GAME

Ubongo
Choose a puzzle card, roll the die to determine which pieces you get to use, and then try to be the first to complete your Tetris-like puzzle. But that's only part of it. What you're really doing is vying for position on the main board, where you're trying to collect as many gems as you can of one color. A nice, quick abstract game for 2-4 players.

MUSIC

Unprepared
This local (CT, US) band was once voted Best Hartford-Area Punk Band despite not playing any punk. They've yet to record a full album, but their live shows are great fun, especially when they break out all the extra percussion for their finale. And best of all, it was at a birthday party for one of the singers where I first met my wife.² If you live nearby, check them out on 5/5. And bring your dog.

LITERATURE

Uncle Shelby's ABZ Book by Shel Silverstein
This short book (by America's favorite children's poet) suggests stealing money from Mommy's purse, freeing animals at the zoo, setting the house on fire, and telling kidnappers your Daddy has a lot of money. Oh yeah, Mommy likes the baby more than you and there is no Santa Claus! I think it's pretty obvious what I'm saying: This book is not for kids. It's just. Too. Awesome.

Until next time...


¹ Then two mediocre ones, then a bunch of crap.
² And vice versa.

Something You Put Balls On

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

T for 2 Edition!

FILM

The Thin Man
Former detective Nick Charles gets pulled into a murder case by a friend and drinks and wisecracks his way through the investigation as the bodies and one-liners pile up. The suspects are an extremely eccentric cast of characters, and Charles unveils the murderer at a dinner party where all are present.¹ A classic.

Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil
Two West Virginian hillbillies (Alan Tudyk & Tyler Labine) are enjoying time at their new fixer-upper cabin when a group of college kids mistake them for kidnappers and plot revenge. Soon the roles are reversed, and everything becomes a bloody mess. A hilarious send-up of horror films.²

TELEVISION

The Tick
The Tick is all brawn, no brain. His sidekick, Arthur, dresses as a moth and is afraid of combat. Together with fellow super-ish heroes (such as Die Fledermaus and American Maid), they help protect The City from evildoers (such as El Seed and The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight). And every episode ends on a poignant(-ish) note. An excellent superhero satire.

Twin Peaks
Everything David Lynch does is bizarre. And this is no different. An idiosyncratic FBI agent investigates the peculiar death of an odd girl in a town with strange characters (and queer secrets). If you love weird (and I mean love it), this offbeat series is for you.

GAME

Ticket to Ride
One of the best gateway games out there. Simple to learn, yet fun for players of all ages. Collect cards to claim train routes across North America, netting more points by completing longer segments or reaching further destinations. Or, just block your opponents' routes. That's fun, too. (For 2-5 players. Other versions and locations also available.)³

Tichu
I've been addicted to this game for six months.⁴ It's a rare breed: a partnered trick-taking game that doesn't use trump suits. Lead one card, and the highest card takes it. Lead a pair or straight or full house, the highest of that type wins the hand. You can vie for points, or bid you'll get rid of all your cards first and get a hefty bonus. Uses a standard deck plus four special cards, and although the basics aren't too hard to grasp, it's six months later, and I'm still figuring out better strategies. (Best with 4 players.)

MUSIC

They Might Be Giants
They've been putting out great (and slightly odd) music for nearly 30 years, but I'm highlighting them today for what they've done since 2005: kids' music. Most such music becomes grating by the second time through. As a new(-ish) parent, I'm grateful there are now at least three albums I'll be able to listen to without wanting to put my ears through a cheese grater: one each for ABCs, 123s, and Science!

The Tragically Hip
If you've never heard of The Hip, then I'm guessing you've never been Canadian, either.⁵ Nine of their albums have hit #1 there. And if you catch them live, lead singer Gordon Downie will rant or tell fictional stories in the middle of certain songs, unique to that show. Although they're the last band I saw in concert, I'm not that big a fan... but my wife is. This one's for her.

LITERATURE

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
Pretend, for a moment, that I’m a guy. Guys don’t read 500+ page love stories. Yet, right from the opening scene (I don’t count the unnecessary prologue as the opening scene), I was hooked. With (unpredictable) time travel involved, Clare can first meet Henry when he’s 35, and he can first meet her 14 years later when he’s 28, and it all makes perfect sense. It’s a very clever premise, and Niffenegger handles it deftly. A fantastic book.

Timeline by Michael Crichton
My favorite Crichton novel. No, it's not great writing (I assume, based on other books of his I've read more recently), but it is fun. A group of researchers use a billionaire's time machine to go back to the Middle Ages and rescue their professor, who has inadvertently gotten trapped there. Then, they inadvertently get trapped there.

Thus ends the tally of too many T titles. Ta ta till tomorrow.


¹ And he/she would have gotten away with it, too, if not for Nick and Nora Charles and their dog.
² As is The Cabin in the Woods, in theaters now. Although they are completely different styles of movie.
³ After a while, you might discover the Space Ghost method (i.e. coast-to-coast) wins more often than not. To help combat this, plays using the 1910 expansion.
⁴ Specifically, its iPod app. I've yet to play a real human person. The AI — on medium difficulty — is such that even after 130+ games, I still only win about 60% of the time.
⁵ Nor did you grow up listening to Canadian radio from just over the border, like my wife did.

The Start of Something

During this year's Blogging From A to Z April Challenge, I'm highlighting things more people should know about. For the most part, I'll be ignoring the most popular and widely known items (and sometimes my personal favorites) in order to promote the unfamiliar and underappreciated.

Super-Sized Saturday Edition!

FILM

Slither
Slug-like aliens invade a small town. It's a bit gross, somewhat creepy, and fantastically funny, with great dialogue and Nathan Fillion as the sheriff. The ultimate in B-movie fun.

The Station Agent
When his only friend dies, Finbar (Peter Dinklage) moves into an abandoned train depot to enjoy a life of solitude, but it doesn't quite work out that way. Half hilarious comedy, half touching drama. 100% fantastic.

Synecdoche, New York
Charlie Kaufman's most original script (and that's saying something). A troubled theater director (Philip Seymour Hoffman) creates a replica of NYC and his life in a warehouse, including actors playing him and actors playing the actors playing him. Challenging and bizarre, but fascinating.

TELEVISION

Spy
Best true reality show ever. Led by ex-spies, 8 people go through standard espionage training and undertake increasingly tough assignments. Fail, and you go home. Sadly, only 1 season on BBC/PBS, and not on DVD.

Sports Night
From Aaron Sorkin, a brilliantly written and acted program following the drama of the people behind a third-rate evening sports show. And you don't need to know a lick of sports. With Robert Guillaume (a.k.a. Benson!), Felicity Huffman, and Peter Krause.

The State
Perhaps my favorite sketch comedy of all time. A bit more immature than Python, but I was in high school when I got hooked. Of course some sketches fail mightily, but at their best they're uproarious. (Sadly, the DVDs lack much of the original soundtrack for legal reasons, but it's still worth it.)

GAME

Settlers of Catan
The first German-style game to really hit it big in the U.S. Die rolls determine resources as you build settlements, cities, and roads. But the best part is the trading... in part because you get to say things like, "Does anyone have a sheep? I've got wood." (For 3-6 players. With a plethora of expansions.)

Small World
Choose a race/power combo and start taking over this over-crowded world. When you can expand no more, or your neighbors have begun killing you off, abandon them and choose a new race to do it all again. A wonderful strategy game for 2-5 players.

Scribblish
Like telephone, but with pencils. Only oh so much more fun. Illustrate a sentence; the next person sees just the drawing and provides a new caption; the next illustrates that; and so on. That's how we ended up with such things as "Jesus, crucified on a brontosaurus, crashes your wedding" and "I shall defeat dwarf Godzilla with my sword and eyebrows!" Absolutely hilarious.

MUSIC

Sufjan Stevens
It sometimes sounds like he's working with a high school orchestra, but that rawness is part of the charm. Whether reflecting personal explorations or aspects of a state's history, his songs will grab you. If nothing else, check out his finest album Illinois.

Sigur Rós
Their songs are light and ethereal, and I don't understand a single word. Which is exactly why this Icelandic band is ideal for when I'm writing: the lyrics will never interfere with my wordsmithing. Simply beautiful.

Shearwater
Formed by members of Okkervil River who wanted an outlet for softer stuff; their songs have a haunting, dreamlike quality to them, yet remain compelling and intense. Powerful stuff.

LITERATURE

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
Bryson wanted to learn about the Earth and all manner of science, so he did, and he passes the knowledge onto us. With a great sense of humor, fun historical tangents, and a heap of intriguing information, this is a must read.

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
What happens to people after they die? From grave robbing to scientific research to decomposition, Roach investigates all the (physical) possibilities, and her wry wit makes this an engaging and entertaining read.

Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde
In a world where color perception determines your place in society, a young Red man tries to better his future, but instead falls in love, angers powerful enemies, and stumbles upon a terrible secret. With terrific characters and world-building, and a twist that, try as I might, I did not see coming.

So, that's it for today (and thankfully so). See ya!