Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Monday, April 4, 2011

From A to Z CONTEST!

**The contest has ended** (view the winners)

In honor of Arlee Bird's Blogging from A to Z April Challenge, I thought today would be the perfect time to unveil an idea I've had for a while now: An alphabetic writing contest.

The rules are simple:
Write something using every letter of the alphabet, in order.

It can be prose. It can be poetry. It can be instructions for properly installing a flux capacitor. I don't care. All I care is that it contains all 26 letters, and that they appear in alphabetic order.

So, what do I mean by in order? Let me give you an example.

Amy used the bacon defense.

Take a look at the underlined letters in the above sentence. That's A through F, in order. Six down, twenty to go. Nice and easy.

And no, I won't tell you what the bacon defense is. It wouldn't be nearly as effective against you if I did.

Anyway, here's what you can win:
  • I shall bestow three prizes of $26 (as Amazon gift cards or something comparable, winner's choice) upon the authors of my three favorite entries.
  • I will also award at least three additional prizes of $10, based on criteria I won't divulge to you at this time. I'll just say this: it's all about the letters.
That's over $100 up for grabs. If you want in on this, leave your entry (or entries—I'll give you up to two) in the comments below. Don't worry about underlining the appropriate letters, just worry about what you're writing. And in which order the letters appear.

The contest will close in three weeks, on Monday, April 25, at 11:59pm (Eastern Time).

Be creative. Be funny. Be eloquent. Be insane.

But most of all: Entertain me.

Contest Rules:
  1. Rules will be written in small type and numbered, so they look more official.
  2. To enter, write something using every letter of the alphabet in order, and post it in the comments section of this blog. If your letters are out of order, I'll find them in contempt of court and give them a short sentence. Or I'll just hang a sign on the door telling people to use the next stall. Either way, you won't win.
  3. Entries must use the English alphabet. If you end up using another one, such as Greek or Russian or Klingon, your entry will be translated into English, and inevitably lose something in the translation. Such as this contest.
  4. You may submit a maximum of two entries. If you submit more than two, I will notice, because I can count. Only your final two entries will be eligible to win. I'll claim any earlier attempts as my own.
  5. You must provide a name. Anonymous entries will not win. Eponymous and androgynous entries probably won't win, either, but I'll decide that based on merit.
  6. There is no rule 6.
  7. Prizes will be awarded as follows:
    • Three (3) winners will receive $26 each, in the form of an Amazon gift card or comparable online currency (of the winner's choosing).
    • Three (3) or more additional winners will receive $10 (also Amazon, etc.), awarded based on criteria that I make up as I go along.
    • An indeterminate number of people will be dubbed as Honorable Mentions. These people will receive honor. (Also, mention.)
  8. I shall act as the contest's sole judge, and if James Brown enters, its soul judge.
  9. The contest is open until April 25, 2011 at 11:59pm, Eastern Time. If you post an entry after the deadline, it will be entered in my next contest instead. It won't win that one, either.
  10. Good luck. (Not that luck will help you win, but it felt like the right thing to say.)


  1. Yay! This was fun. Here's mine:

    Anna braced herself for the ghosts in jackets that liked mango puddings as she quietly rode her scooter up the very steep hill toward the xylophone playing zombie.

  2. You'll have to give me some time to think this over!

    Great idea!

    Duncan In Kuantan

  3. What a great twist on a writing contest! I'll have to think on this one...haven't had my coffee yet!

  4. Oh, my. Now that is a contest! I shall have to put my thinking cap on.

    Ellie Garratt

  5. Crap, man! My brain is mush right now...

  6. April. Bill closed the door. Everything fresh and good was hateful. "I just knew Liz a month, and now it's over. Peace and quiet and regulated schedules tormented me, but I understood those values. Will they exhume her, you think?" BUZZZzzzz. "Oh, my God! Put down that chainsaw!"

    Marian Allen
    Fantasies, mysteries, comedies, recipes

  7. Wow, this is interesting! Must think it through and come up with an entry :)

  8. I'm not usually tempted by things like this but, what with the official rules in small type, it is almost irresistible...but I must ask, does spelling count?

    Thanks for the morning laugh...and I'll hammer out an entry later - methinks you gonna get fludded...


  9. omg. i can barely even wrap my head around this idea. I look forward to seeing the entries

  10. That might be too much for my brain this week. But, fun! Enjoy!!

  11. What! are you saying... All Backed Up in my Ears.
    jeremy [iZombie]


  12. Hah, what a fun idea! Here's mine:

    ‘A black cat drowns every Friday,’ grumbled Harry. ‘In Jake Kingsley’s lake.’
    ‘No, over-eating probably. Quiet release.’
    ‘Suicide? Tomcat unhappiness?’
    ‘Video witnesses, Xavier, you’re zoologically-minded.’

  13. Absolutely confounding, except I freaking have to impart my jovial kindness and laugh. Maybe I'm not too pinheaded to quietly try. Sometimes during Valentine's Day while I exercise and yearn, I feel like my brain is a zoo.

    Nevermind ... I clearly am too pinheaded. HAHA

    thanks for the laugh - - I'm a new follower from the A-Z challenge.

  14. It seems an excellent idea. I let him do it in Spanish? Greetings.

  15. I gotta get ahead on my A-Z posts and then I can spend time on this one. Very nice and simplistic (the subject not the rules). Although I am particularly fond of rule 6.

  16. Anteaters bounced candidly down the elephant’s fabled garage hampering the iguana’s jumping Kevin’s lumpy, mushy nodules causing obedient quails to race students veering west to exhibit yellow zombie-like behavior.

    A-Z Fellow Challenger
    Holly Ruggiero’s POV

  17. Always begging Candace during each Friday, Garrett hated idiot Joshua's killer looks. Most nerds only preferred quick re-dos, seeking to undergo vivacious wanderings, x-raying yak-like zebras.

  18. Hmmm. I might give it a go. Some good entries here already.

  19. This is really great what you're doing. It adds to the festivity and fun of the A to Z event. I'll try to remember to give this a plug on my blog next week. Right now I'm just in a fog like Alex as I try to get caught up and organized.

    Contrary to my usual practice of subscribing to comments, to save time during this early part of the challenge I will not be doing so at this time. If you want to respond to my comment, please email me directly from your email notification for the comment.
    Thanks. And I truly appreciate your efforts.

    Tossing It Out
    Twitter hashtag: #atozchallenge

  20. Nate, this is a great challenge! Here is my entry:

    Aging, bored cats devise eccentric fanatical games, hurling insolent jeers, keenly leering, making no other plans quite riveting (save the ukelele vandalizing when xenon yields zephyr).

  21. I came here through A to Z challenging .I like this contest and I am in :).I have written a poem using all the 26 letters in order.I hope you like it and looking forward to your comment :)
    ABC of Better Thoughts
    Happy Contesting Guys!You all rock

  22. Off to gather my thoughts; What a fab idea!

  23. Love the title of your blog. Very creative idea and generous contest.

    Gregg Metcalf
    Colossians 1:28-29

    Gospel-driven Disciples

  24. Oooooh! I like this! It reminds me of one of my grandfather's favorite "jokes": ABCD bees? LMNO bees!

    Ummm, maybe I won't finish that. Anyway I'm in but I gotta pay the bills first.

    By the way, love the blog, added it to the recent finds on my homepage.

  25. A blister covered the entire foot of the goose. “Happy now, imbecile?” he joked, laughing madly. The gander opened a quart of rat poison to consume. “Vicious wart, he is,” he explained gingerly to the zebra.

  26. Abigail cornered the Egret. “Foolish disguise!” she inserted. Jack, who lingered some distance away, ordered pickles and quails, while resting his underbelly valiantly. The Egret, warmed near the glowing Xmas tree, then yelled, “Freakin’ Zombie!”

  27. Although blatant canonical deficits exist, figurative genetic hierarchy is instrumental in justifying knee-jerk legitimization by many neo-opressionistic populists (who will) quite readily spout their unpopular views with xenophobic yammering and outright zealousness.

  28. I kind of like this one, unfortunately it's backwards so I can't enter it into the contest but I thought I would share anyway.

    Zany yellow xylophones write very unusual things. Some rhapsodize quite philosophically, others niggle melodramatically. Listening kills joy in hearing, guaranteed. Fortunately every despicable chord's been abolished!

  29. Abracadabra Efraim Gahoolie Jackelope Menopause Qwerty Stripe Uvula Wilson would be an extraordinarily bizarre name for your first-born son.

  30. As Beverly> chased delicious dreams of great pleasure, her idea generated jokes and laughter. Mere nonsense, they said. Perhaps, but quit? She refused to abandon her ultimate goal, shivering with antici (say it!)-pation, wetting her lips as she dialed. “XYZ Pizza? I’d like a medium cheese with double broccoli, please.”

  31. Very Interesting news indeed, I am a bit late here, and as someone said i need to put my T cap on and work on it. Hi Hi Hi
    Best wishes to all the participants.
    Keep cracking
    Best of luck

  32. Andrew Bonnington crunched delicately; eating fruity granola.

    He inserted juicy kernels - licking, munching, nibbling - on principal, quietly.

    Reading; slowly turning untresaured vellum, wonderfully xerocopied yesterday zestfully.

    Steven Chapman (writer)

  33. Ann braced Conrad. "Dare enter first, guy."
    "Hahahahaha! I just keep learning more new overexaggerated piffle, queen."
    "Rotten scoundrel!"
    Thundering uppercut vibrated woefully. "Xantippe! You're zealous!"

  34. Great idea, good sir. I'll be pondering this one for a bit...

  35. A Bad Cat Drank Everything From Grease, Human Intestional Juice, Ketchup, Lemonade, Mint, Nutmeg. Occasionally Puked. Queasy, Really Silly Tomcat. Usually Very Wild. X-rays Yearly. Zikes