From A to Z CONTEST!

**The contest has ended** (view the winners)

In honor of Arlee Bird's Blogging from A to Z April Challenge, I thought today would be the perfect time to unveil an idea I've had for a while now: An alphabetic writing contest.

The rules are simple:
Write something using every letter of the alphabet, in order.

It can be prose. It can be poetry. It can be instructions for properly installing a flux capacitor. I don't care. All I care is that it contains all 26 letters, and that they appear in alphabetic order.

So, what do I mean by in order? Let me give you an example.

Amy used the bacon defense.

Take a look at the underlined letters in the above sentence. That's A through F, in order. Six down, twenty to go. Nice and easy.

And no, I won't tell you what the bacon defense is. It wouldn't be nearly as effective against you if I did.

Anyway, here's what you can win:

• I shall bestow three prizes of $26 (as Amazon gift cards or something comparable, winner's choice) upon the authors of my three favorite entries.
• I will also award at least three additional prizes of $10, based on criteria I won't divulge to you at this time. I'll just say this: it's all about the letters.

That's over $100 up for grabs. If you want in on this, leave your entry (or entries—I'll give you up to two) in the comments below. Don't worry about underlining the appropriate letters, just worry about what you're writing. And in which order the letters appear.

The contest will close in three weeks, on Monday, April 25, at 11:59pm (Eastern Time).

Be creative. Be funny. Be eloquent. Be insane.

But most of all: Entertain me.


Contest Rules:

1. Rules will be written in small type and numbered, so they look more official.
2. To enter, write something using every letter of the alphabet in order, and post it in the comments section of this blog. If your letters are out of order, I'll find them in contempt of court and give them a short sentence. Or I'll just hang a sign on the door telling people to use the next stall. Either way, you won't win.
3. Entries must use the English alphabet. If you end up using another one, such as Greek or Russian or Klingon, your entry will be translated into English, and inevitably lose something in the translation. Such as this contest.
4. You may submit a maximum of two entries. If you submit more than two, I will notice, because I can count. Only your final two entries will be eligible to win. I'll claim any earlier attempts as my own.
5. You must provide a name. Anonymous entries will not win. Eponymous and androgynous entries probably won't win, either, but I'll decide that based on merit.
6. There is no rule 6.
7. Prizes will be awarded as follows:
   
   • Three (3) winners will receive $26 each, in the form of an Amazon gift card or comparable online currency (of the winner's choosing).
   • Three (3) or more additional winners will receive $10 (also Amazon, etc.), awarded based on criteria that I make up as I go along.
   • An indeterminate number of people will be dubbed as Honorable Mentions. These people will receive honor. (Also, mention.)
8. I shall act as the contest's sole judge, and if James Brown enters, its soul judge.
9. The contest is open until April 25, 2011 at 11:59pm, Eastern Time. If you post an entry after the deadline, it will be entered in my next contest instead. It won't win that one, either.
10. Good luck. (Not that luck will help you win, but it felt like the right thing to say.)