The Top Ten Things That Threaten to Topple This Theocracy

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Theocracies are typically defined as "states governed by a deity or a priesthood," but in today's modern society even some people of faith also subscribe to another almighty: Science! It, too, is often perceived as infallible, omnipotent, and the cause of earthquakes and plagues. But the following things threaten to shake people's core scientific beliefs:

1. Thing
   It's a disembodied hand that can think for itself. Need I say more?
    
2. The Thing
   He's a man made of rock who, when he died, was resurrected by God. Need I say more?
    
3. Thing 1 and Thing 2
   They have wild, natural blue hair and hang out with a talking cat. Need I say more?
    
4. Time-Traveling Tyrannosaurs
   What's that? Dinosaurs are actually from the future? Fossils are the result of time-travel missions gone awry? Biology and geology, you're officially on notice.
    
5. The T Party
   No, not the Tea Party; they're hardly a threat. I'm talking about the rabid fans of Mr. T, who are fervent believers in pitying the fool. Thus, they always vote to fund idiots who spread incorrect scientific information, which will cause the public to distrust science more and more every year.
    
6. Toothless, Tongue-Tied Thespians
   Because the success of Cats with an all-gum cast is in direct opposition to Darwin's theory on natural selection.
    
7. Tool Time's Tim Taylor
   With his incessant grunting, his poor grasp of language, and his propensity for smashing things, once the reruns start playing on Nick-at-Nite, people will soon realize evolution is a myth.
    
8. Tattle-Tales
   A highly-respected member of the scientific community, under oath, will admit in the next inning of the steroids scandal that we still know next-to-nothing about almost everything. Whether steroids can help you hit a baseball, what causes cancer, the secrets of DNA, proper nutrition, weather forecasting, what's keeping Dick Clark alive... it's all guesswork.
    
9. The Truth Theorem
   This theorem posits that science is a fad and will soon die out on account of its constant need for proof.
    
10. Ten Thousand Teeming Tapirs
    Swarms of pig-like mammals from out of nowhere. Explain that, science.

This post is part of the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge, hosted by Karen Gowen and seven others. Go check out the other participants!