On the other hand, space apparently makes you people think of flatulence. And mooning. And Uranus. That's six haiku claimed by the entirely wrong type of black hole.
Anyway, thank you to everyone who entered haiku in this year's contest (or shared it on Facebook, like Matthew of the QQQE). You made my work as judge tougher than ever. As usual, my decisions are completely biased and made without the slightest hint of logic. In other words, I am the anti-Spock.
If none of your haiku appear below, know that your best one just barely missed the cut. (Unless you're my dad. Then, just be happy you didn't get a dishonorable mention this time around.) And if you haven't already done so, make sure to check out all the entries. There's even a trio of anonymous entries near the end whose puns put my own to shame...
Susan Kaye Quinn tried to win on a technicality. But Susan, you should know: the Wookiee only wins if I let him win.
Sweet like gorimn wineScott nets two. The first because it offers up a double whammy, running out of space while talking about it. The second because... well, it's just so shiny.
My soaring space prose triumphs!
Wookie always wins
Space, The Final Fron-Joshua's captures the futility of space travel. At least, the futility of space travel without having brought enough oxygen. Or fuel. Or...
Dammit! Space, The Final Fron-
You know what I mean!
Hero of Canton
Orange woolen hat
A solo journey.I feel I had to reward one of the entries from the dark (and/or smelly) side. This one is from Joelle:
Much too far from planetfall.
Almost out of air.
I dreamt of space flightA woman called Mittens shares the gospel truth about kittens:
But studied proctology;
Cats in king sized bedsAnd then there's this one, which only works if you know Naomi's son is named Solomon. And is only accurate for another two months, at which time another son will rise and throw everything out of alignment:
Plenty of space, so why must
you bogart my side
My whole universe
(Not just one puny system)
Revolves around Sol.
First Place — Traditional
I don't have anything clever to say to introduce this entry. Which is good, because traditional haiku are serious stuff. The first winner is Andrea Gilbey:
Beyond this green world
Past the deep blue and farther
All is midnight black.
First Place — Humorous/Creative
Joelle snagged the top humor prize (and a gift card) with this inventive entry:
First Place — Mostly Harmless
And as you can see, I did decide to award a third top prize after all. It goes to Naomi, for proffering this sage advice:
Vast and uncharted
You cannot prepare for it.
Just bring your towel
And that'll do it for this year's haiku contest. Andrea, Joelle, and Naomi, please email me (or comment below) to let me know if you'd prefer your digital monies from Amazon or iTunes.
Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks again to everyone who entered and/or stopped by. I'm already looking forward to next year's contest...