Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Haiku Contest: Space!

** The contest is now closed. Check out the winners!**

Announcing the launch of The Wheel’s 4th Annual Haiku Contest!

We've done ninja. We've done pirates. We've done robots. But this year we boldly go where no few haiku have gone before: Space!

It's pretty simple.
Step 1: You write a haiku.
(There is no step 2.)

Just follow the standard haiku structure (5 syllables, 7 syllables, then 5 again) and make it something to do with space. Whether you opt for proven science or aliens or pop culture or another meaning of space entirely is up to you.

To enter, write your own space-themed haiku in the comments section below. Two or three lucky winners will receive spacebucks $25 gift cards.

I will be selecting the best haiku in each of two categories:
  • Humorous/Creative
  • Traditional (i.e. eloquent, evocative, etc.)
In addition, I may also reward a third entry, depending on my mood. And the mood of my wallet.

The deadline to submit a haiku is this Tuesday, May 7 at 5:00pm (Eastern Time). Official "rules" are below.

Official "Rules":
  1. To enter, post space-themed haiku in the comments section below. Multiple submissions are allowed, but if you submit more than five (5) entries, there won't be enough room in the contest for all of them and they'll burn up on re-entry.
  2. Standard haiku rules apply. To qualify, each entry must be a three-line poem, the first line containing exactly 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third line 5 syllables. If you miscount, the launch of your entry will be scrubbed and you'll have to start over from scratch.
  3. The contest is open until Tuesday, May 7, 2013 at 5:00pm, Eastern Time. If you try to sneak an entry in after the deadline, it will be treated as a stowaway and sent hurling off into the black via the airlock. It will not survive.
  4. Entries must be in English. (i.e. Using Japanese kanji will not help you win for best traditional haiku.) If I can't understand your entry, I'll assume it's a message from an alien world and be too busy trying to decipher it to award you any money.
  5. Anonymous entries will not win. If you don't tell me who you are, clearly you are a conspiracy nut who only wants to get your hands on the alien message from rule #4. I will never let you see anything of mine, and that includes gift cards.
  6. Prizes will be awarded in each of two (2) categories: Humorous/Creative and Traditional. A third prize may be awarded if the mood (or a light saber) strikes me.
    • First place winners will each receive a $25 gift card from either Amazon or iTunes (their choices).
    • An indeterminate number of Honorable Mentions will receive bragging rights over everyone who doesn’t win. Also, honor (mentioned).
    • If my father submits an entry, there's a good chance there will also be a Dishonorable Mention.
  7. I will act as sole judge, and select the winning haiku based on the aforementioned criteria, as well as other criteria I make up as I go along. All decisions are final, and will not be changed under any circumstances. Unless I'm threatened by a Wookiee. Then I'll let the Wookiee win.


  1. Sorry, not much of a poet, and after the A to Z Challenge, my brain has turned to mush.

  2. Einsten-Rosen Bridge
    Wormhole of forgotten dreams
    Universe next door

  3. Just for fun...

    Sweet like gorimn wine
    My soaring space prose triumphs!
    Wookie always wins

    1. Damn. You're so going to win. Because Wookies DO always win.

  4. Thanks to Matthew for sending me this way.

    A solo journey.
    Much too far from planetfall.
    Almost out of air.

  5. Space, The Final Fron-
    Dammit! Space the Final Fron-
    You know what I mean!

    If you fart in space
    With no one around to hear
    Does your spacesuit smell?

  6. Hero of Canton
    Unintentional patron
    Orange woolen hat

  7. The vast vacuum of space
    Is nothing compared with the
    Space between your ears

  8. Halley's Comet Comes Fast
    Will You Live To See It Streak
    Or May Be Just Mooned

  9. Just FYI, my kid informed me the other day: you can't fart or burp in space. Apparently gravity is required to separate gas from liquids and solids in your intestine. TMI?

  10. Astronomical,

  11. What does seltzer do
    to an astronaut in space?
    Might not be pretty.

  12. Does Life imitate
    Art? Space travel dreams come true?
    By Grabthar's Hammer, YES!

  13. Beyond this green world
    Past the deep blue and farther
    All is midnight black.

  14. Why is the sky blue?
    Ionized Smurfs are to blame,
    Scattering sunlight.

  15. That's no nebula.
    Nor is it a gas giant.
    That was just my fart.

  16. Awesomeness- can I come back a little bit later with my haiku - I need a moment to think.

  17. The final frontier:
    deadly planets, toxic to
    Captain Kirk posers

  18. Starry horizon
    beckoning us to come
    play supernova

  19. I may have to come back and try again, when I'm less in . . .whatever mood this is . . .dark humor maybe . . .

  20. The final frontier.
    Can you hear a fart in space?
    No? That's good to hear.

  21. I dreamt of space flight
    But studied proctology;
    Uranus beckoned.

  22. (It seems I have recently developed an inability to count to 17.)

    In the SPACE of just
    several days, this HAIKU
    contest has BACKFIRED!

  23. Sitting on the moon
    It's hard to read by Earthshine
    At least it's quiet

  24. Cats in king sized beds
    Plenty of space, so why must
    you bogart my side

  25. Spacebarisbroken

  26. Vast and uncharted
    You cannot prepare for it.
    Just bring your towel

    Choose clothing with care
    When on a mission with Kirk.
    Don't ever wear red.

    My whole universe
    (Not just one puny system)
    Revolves around Sol.

    A space opera
    Is never over until
    Fat alien sings

    Doom doom doomie doom
    Doom doom doom-dee doom-doom doom.
    Singing the Doom song.

  27. HAHAHAHA I love Naomi's Space Opera haiku!! That made me laugh out loud!

  28. I love tang a lot.
    Training for astronaut dreams.
    Let’s go. Make it so.

  29. Finally arrived.
    So-what is there to do here?
    Bored. Going home now.

    By Karyn Burns

  30. Standing close to me.
    Please move, stranger- distance now!
    Get out of my biz.

    By Karyn Burns

  31. So far, far away
    Stars born and dying daily
    My eyes still see you

    By Karyn Burns

  32. Hubble Hubble Hub...
    Telescope Telescope Tel...
    Finish what you start...

  33. Galaxy, gassy
    Your fart is universal
    Vast stars go poof- bye

    By Karyn Burns

  34. Euclidean space
    Satisfied with three axes
    The angles seem right

    But of course, in time,
    Einstein brought another forth
    A relative leap!

    Hawking a theory
    That goes up to eleven
    Stringing us along?

  35. My sister-in-law wrote this but doesn't have a blog, so I'm submitting it for her:

    On a starry night
    The queen is a W

    by Lynn Glover

  36. A Different AnonymousMay 7, 2013 at 10:53 PM

    No swearing allowed?!
    You're frakking kidding me, right?
    Such a gorram shame.

    10, 9, 8, 7,
    6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... and
    We are clear for launch.

    So dreary, so dull
    It goes on and on and on
    Vogon poetry

    Yellow moons, orange stars
    Space travel before breakfast
    I am so lucky

    At the ends of space,
    Alternate dimensions? No.
    Alt keys, nothing more.

    I reach for the stars.
    Each one is lifetimes away
    And yet, still I reach.

  37. looks like i missed a good time! frick!! sorry for my potty mouth... glad to meet and follow you! hi!

    1. Hi Tammy, thanks for stopping by! Sure, you may have missed the participation portion of the contest, but you got to read through the craziness, so it's not all bad.

      And don't worry, based on the content of some of the entries, your potty mouth should feel right at home...

  38. darn! i missed it too! great entries! how often do you do these contests? i saw one a while ago... love haiku!

    1. I run my haiku contest once a year, with the deadline always falling on what I call Haiku O'Clock: 5/7 @ 5pm. But who knows, maybe I'll find a reason to hold them more often.

      And hey, this makes 42 total comments on this post. Good news, people! The haiku above are now the answer to life, the universe, and everything!

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    1. saeed, that is waaaaay too long to qualify as a haiku and waaaaay too late to qualify for this contest. Besides, not one of those cars on your site is a space car. Sir, you disappoint me.