Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Getting Back to My Roots

Astute readers of this blog will have noticed my writing has fallen off of late. Not only am I blogging less, but my posts have become very photo-centric. And though photographs and stories of my son are fun, I think we can all agree something has been missing.

By something, of course, I mean footnotes.1

After all, footnotes are the bedrock of what makes this country blog great.2 In fact, back when I first invented The Wheel, I named it after a footnote.3

So that's my goal. Cut back on posts written solely to accompany photos. Get back to writing things of substance.4 Sprinkle in a liberal amount of footnotes.5 Bake for thirty minutes.6

Sure, I'll probably give up on this goal7 within a couple weeks, and again resort to posting cute things my son says. But the important thing is I pretended it was a goal in the first place. Because it's good to have goals.

It's fun to pretend, too.8

1 Kind of like this one. (But only kind of.)
2 Great. Now that I said bedrock I can't stop thinking about the Flintstones. You know, because their beds were made of rock. (To find out what that would feel like, find your local quarry and take your soft mattress for granite.) Note: This bad pun alert arrives a sentence too late.
3 What, you don't believe me? Come on, not everything I say needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Especially since it's such a pain to eat salt one grain at a time. Just do what I do: Down a tablespoon of the stuff before you read anything I've written. Go ahead, grab a spoonful and then read my blog's origin story.
4 Of course, my idea of substance might differ from yours. I'm talking about sarcasm. Because that totally works in print.
5 To balance things out politically, I'll ensure such footnotes are right-leaning.
6 No, that's not a reference to smoking pot. It's playing off the "sprinkle" in the previous sentence as if it was part of a recipe. Didn't you know? Cooking humor always trumps drug humor. #hashtag
7 Except the part about the footnotes.
8 I'm even pretending people will read this post when I didn't include a photo. Wow, I am so naïve.


  1. Replies
    1. I bet it does, Alex. I bet it does.

      (I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, but now that I've seen it typed out, perhaps I was?)

  2. i was also thinking of the flinstones. But now i'm thinking about cooking something. Probably because i'm apparently very hungry right at this moment

    1. I can only assume that after you left this comment, you went and cooked something delicious, then had it shipped to my house. I've now been waiting by the door for two days, but nothing has yet arrived. Look, I know we're writers and all, but did you have to ship it book rate?

  3. Love the addition of footnotes! Hilarious, though I don't think I will try the salt...

    1. It's not so much an addition of footnotes as it is a re-introduction. Just as if I'd always had peanuts as a snack after work, then went without them for a few months, and then started eating them again.*

      * In this example, one of the peanuts is a salted.