For those of you who don’t already know, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. But this year we get an extra special treat, since it falls on the first day of Rosh Hashanah. Thus, I decree: the first ever International Talk Like a Jewish Pirate Day!
So, just how do you talk like a Jewish pirate? Like so:
- “Today ye shall become a man, for it is yer barrrr mitzvah.”
- “Ahoy, vey!”
Of course, some of you filthy bilge rats may have too much self-respect to use such horrible puns. If that’s the case, try to draw inspiration from this exchange between Jean Lafitte1 and his fictional first mate, Long John Silverstein:
Lafitte: “Avast, ye scurvy dog! Read the torah, or I’ll cast ye into the briny depths!Congratulations! Now you’re ready to hoist up your flag, with its traditional skullcap and crossbones, and head off to part the seven seas.
Silverstein: “Do you mean the vat of gefilte fish?”
Lafitte: “Aye, the gefilte fish.”
1 An actual Jewish pirate.