Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Friday, April 8, 2011

Go-Go Gadget Gobbledygook!

Great galloping gadflies! I'm giving away over $100 in my From A to Z Contest! What are you waiting for?

While I wholeheartedly (as opposed to partheartedly or halfspleenedly) admit that much of what I write/ramble/rant about here on this here blog is a steaming heap of—no, I refuse to call it refuse, but it is pretty much rubbish, and aye, there's the rub: If most readers can't cross your streams of consciousness, if they can't manage to follow your train of thought, it's clear you've probably gone loco without the motive. Even if you're just a little off track, betting you lose readers would be a profitable endeavor, since we live in a Short Attention Span Society (or SASS, and by the way I'm having SASS sashes made, shiny ones, all the better to distract you with, my dear) and—wait, where was I? Oh right. Sitting in my home office with a cat by my mouse.

Anyway, people sure love themselves some crazy (translation: they're keen on Sheen), but dude, they won't abide being driven batshit crazy themselves by having to decipher the droll, dauntless drivel you dare to deem your writing. So give it to 'em straight — or gay, or bi, or asexual (like this one amoeba I knew in college) — but whatever you do, don't force your readers to slog through the unnavigable landscape of crags and crevasses created by your particular brand of madness in the hopes they'll soldier through and eventually arrive at your point, because before they ever get there their minds will inevitably wander (as minds and tribes are apt to do) onto uncharted paths of their own (and likely lesser) imagination, and there they'll revel forever and ever and when they finally do come stumbling back to your intricately plotted passages and best laid lines that get tangled in each other and cause your hook to get caught in the fleshy part of your thumb, it will be time for dinner.

Reading shouldn't be a struggle.

This post is part of the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge, hosted by Candace Ganger and seven others. Go check out the other participants!


  1. I was kind of expecting more than a teasing reference to Inspector Gadget, yo. :-( Ah well, you do bring a good point, however. Reading should be anything but what your second paragraph turned out to be.

  2. Holy bat crap! I not only read your post I understood all of it. eeek...winning! Nooooooo

    Loco without the motive huh. I'm stealing that.

    I was becoming a little placid with the A-Z, this has boosted my psycho levels back into overdrive and driven me to drink..{Short trip}

    Remind me to thank you.

  3. the imagery conjured by the thoughts of a Nomadic Brain were ones to ponder :)


  4. Fantastic post. I totally agree that the reader has to be able to comprehend everything. I know a lot of my posts are written late at night, so I'm always hoping that I'm thinking straight enough to make sense.

  5. Great post. @Jeff..James Joyce did how many pages without a period (not THAT type of period!) in Ulysses. Made it demanding, yes. A struggle, oh yes indeedy. Worth it in the end..I thought so. Point taken, tho, with what is above. Sheen let the money get to his, head. Not worth the breath we air.

  6. Great illustration of your point. Fun post, but you'd lose me if your entire novel read like that. I wouldn't question your sanity, but I would question your, um, recreational proclivities.

  7. Jeffrey: Well, the going rate is a Penny for my thoughts, which come from my Brain, and will Claw their way into your subconscious. At which point, Chief Quimby will explode.

    Soooz: So glad I could have that effect on your psycho levels. Someday, you should thank me.

    RJR: This was no Nomadic Brain. Interestingly enough, my brain stayed in one place, and just spun a yarn around.

    Cheree: Here's what I do to avoid that: Stop trying to make sense. If no one expects me to be serious (or the Spanish Inquisition), total comprehension is far less important.

    Born: Thanks! And as James Joyce showed, periods are overrated. Especially in hockey.

    Falen: "Puttin' on the Riiiiiitz!" And it has been sung.

    Shelli: Phew, it's a good thing my entire novel doesn't read like that. Right around page 400, I start writing in limerick. (As for my recreational proclivities, there's nothing weird about turkey bowling... well, maybe because I use live turkeys.)

  8. You must use mighty big turkeys otherwise their wings would break just lifting up the ball - I'm assuming, of course, it would be American 10 pin you be playing with them...

    I love the tightrope act of a tripping along a well constructed, almost run-on sentence. Nicely done, Nate.

    oh, and nice working of Young Frankenstein reference into the comments section....

  9. moe: I'll put the ball on the floor, and the turkey will push it with its head. They're especially happy whenever they get three strikes in a row. (And wait-- are you sure you meant to call the sentence "well constructed"?)

    Tamara: Glad you made it through without losing a limb. ;)