My Son Is Already Smarter Than Me

I've been studying with The Professor (age: 36 days) for a while now, and I must say, the experience has been extremely enlightening. He has so much knowledge to share, and under his stern yet forgiving tutelage I have already learned a great deal. Today, I'd like to pass along some of the wisdom he has imparted so far...

• If someone is being too loud and you're unable to pacify them using traditional means, give them the finger. That will shut them up.
   
• When you're in charge, you don't need to ask nicely to get what you want. Just keep screaming, and eventually other people will do it for you.
   
• There's no need to cry over spilt milk, or let a little blood faze you. But if anyone ever puts you down, wail at them with all your might. They'll think twice about doing it again.
   
• People don't learn from their mistakes unless there are consequences that affect them personally. Don't tell them what they did wrong right at the start; let things leak out over time. Only then will they learn.
  
  And, of course,
   
• If you're beautiful, you can get away with pretty much anything.

I already knew that last one, but ain't it the truth.