Two Turns of The Wheel

Today, this blog enters its terrible twos. Thus, not only should you expect a bit more yelling in the coming months — and perhaps an infatuation with dinosaurs or trains — but I’ll also have to be careful what I say around the blog, since it’ll be sure to repeat it in public at the most inappropriate times. (Not that it matters, since my blog’s readers are so stupid they won’t even realize they’ve been insulted.)¹

Last year I celebrated The Wheel’s one-year anniversary with a contest, but sadly, I won’t be doing the same this year, because funds are scarce. Half my money has gone toward our new windows, half is set aside for our new kitchen, and I blew the other half on diapers. (What? You can too have three halves. You can’t? Are you sure? Well, in my defense, I was never good at math.)³

Here’s a snapshot of my past year:

Lost: 1 cat (aged 9), 1 great aunt (aged 102)
Gained: 1 wife, 1 son, 1 cat, 1 monster, 143 followers
Wrote: 94 blog posts, 2 chapters, 1 award-winning speech
Took: 1500+ photos, 1 chump for all he was worth⁴

Thus concludes year two in the life of the (sometimes) fiery wheel. As great as it was, I can’t wait to find out what wonders year number three will bring.


¹ Goddamnit! That’s entirely out of context. When I said that to the blog, I was joking.^2
2 Shit. I shouldn’t have said ‘goddamnit,’ either. Now the blog’s gonna fucking say it all the time.
³ That’s a goddamn lie. (Shit, I did it again.) Math used to be my best subject. In fact, I was even in our high school’s Math League, which was kind of like the Justice League (i.e. both groups solved problems), except in our league only one person wore brightly colored tights.
⁴ Bazinga.