Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Magic Haiku Contest Winners!

Welcome back, ladies and gents. It's the most magical time of the year! (Andy Williams had it wrong.)

Anyway, you're probably wondering who won this year's haiku contest. Well, so am I.

Let's get to it.


Honorable Mentions

Scott, what's With all the Capitalized Words? Ooh, It's a Secret Code, isn't it? So your Assistant Knows tbicmrp is the One To pick? Nope, Not picking It.
Terrified Bunny
In his hidden Compartment
Makes Rabbit Pellets
Of all the entries, this one from my sister Naomi is actually the one I laughed at the hardest when I first read it. But is it magic? According to the judge, no. No kid has ever believed this is magic.
The guillotine blade
Was installed slightly askew.
Ha ha! Got your nose!
Betsy Rose's would make me sad, but luckily I now have a child and can laugh vicariously through him:
The child laughs with joy
At the magic everywhere.
Then becomes a man.
In my early 20s, I once picked up a deck of cards, split the deck, and correctly guessed the chosen card: the four of spades. Since then, I always pick the four of spades. Sorry, Sam Cook, you were so close:
Go pick a card, Nate.
Got it? It's the Three of Spades!
(So cool if this works)
I also liked that Sam brought web design humor. But alas, he only managed to make part of his haiku vanish, not the whole thing. He doesn't win the prize.
Abracadbra,
Make this haiku disappear!
<!--this line is hidden-->

First Place - Traditional

Except he does win the prize. Thanks a lot, Sam, for making me a liar.
My arm extended
Pointed toward that distant snack
I yearn for The Force

For those of you who might argue the Force is not magic, that it's just a hokey religion, I completely agree. Of course, I also believe magicians create only illusions, the appeal of baby's laughter is science, and Trix is not even close to magically delicious. It's not like I can disqualify everything on a technicality. Well, I can, since I'm the judge. But I won't.


First Place - Humorous/Creative

The other one goes to my sister:
“It’s LeviOHsa,
Not LeviohSA, you twit.”
“Shut up, HermiOHN.”

I don't know about the rest of you muggles, but for the first three books of the series, I was sure her name was pronounced HermiOHN. (Well, actually, HERmiohn.) But after the first movie came out I was forced to admit my mistake. I'm also making a mistake naming Naomi a winner, but at least I admit that from the start.


And that'll do it for this year's contest. Be sure to read all the magical entries. Thanks again to everyone who entered, shared, or ridiculed my contest. Until next time...

Leave 'em wantin' more.
That's what they say in show biz.
So I'll just

6 comments:

  1. Those are all much better than I could've created.

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    Replies
    1. I agree completely. Everyone knows published authors can't write a haiku to save their lives.

      Delete
  2. Woohoo! (Just don't tell Nate that I intended that one to be humorous. It might get disqualified.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I know you meant all your haiku to be humorous. But then it went behind your back and worked both sides of the aisle.

      If I were disqualify you, it would be for trying to tell me how to judge my own contest. Say, that's not a bad idea...

      Delete
  3. For the science haiku,
    I almost researched
    The cats were so distracting
    I tried... OOOOOH so cute!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The bottom three lines, not the top one

    ReplyDelete