Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Friday, April 27, 2018

The Magical Haiku Contest

*** The contest is closed. View the winners. ***

Shazam! It's my 9th annual haiku contest!

We've previously manipulated ninja, pirates, robots, space, the ocean, heroes & villains, science, and the wild west. But this year's theme, which I just pulled out of thin air, is magic!

There's no trick to it:
Write a bunch of syllables
Seventeen of 'em.

Simply follow standard haiku structure (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again) and make it magical. However you interpret the theme is entirely up to you.

To enter, write your haiku in the comments section below. Two or three lucky winners will receive a locked box containing your card! Amazing! $25 Amazon gift cards.

I will be selecting the best haiku in each of two categories:
  • Humorous/Creative
  • Traditional (i.e. eloquent, evocative, etc.)
In addition, I may also reward a third entry. Because I know that every little thing you write is magic.

The deadline to submit a haiku is this Monday, May 7 at 5:00pm (Eastern Time). Official "rules" are below.

Official "Rules":
  1. To enter, post magic-themed haiku in the comments section below. Multiple submissions are allowed, up to a maximum of five (5) entries. If you try to sneak extras past me, I'll catch you in the act, and you won't get any prestige.
  2. Standard haiku rules apply. To qualify, each entry must be a three-line poem, the first line containing exactly 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third line 5 syllables. If you're off by a syllable you could turn me into a newt. I'll get better, but I hold a grudge. You won't win.
  3. The contest is open until Monday, May 7, 2018 at 5:00pm, Eastern Time. If you make me wait for a spell, you're cast out of the contest.
  4. Entries must be in English, though exceptions will be made for magical-sounding phrases (i.e. Latinglish). But anything else will be considered black magicks and that extra k is stupid so you lose.
  5. Anonymous entries will not win. He who shall not be named never wins, not in the end.
  6. Prizes will be awarded in each of two (2) categories: Humorous/Creative and Traditional. A third prize may be awarded if I'm feeling generous. Or the Sorting Hat decrees it.
    • First place winners will each receive a $25 Amazon gift card.
    • An indeterminate number of Honorable Mentions will receive mention. Also honor.
  7. I will act as sole judge, and select the winning haiku based on the aforementioned criteria, as well as other criteria I make up as I go along. All decisions are final, and will not be changed under any circumstances. Unless I'm tricked into it.


  1. Abracadabra
    I pooped in YOUR underwear...
    Scared you? No...Magic!

  2. Terrified Bunny
    In his hidden Compartment
    Makes Rabbit Pellets

    -I will stop this trend...I think...

  3. The guillotine blade
    Was installed slightly askew.
    Ha ha! Got your nose!

  4. The child laughs with joy
    At the magic everywhere.
    Then becomes a man.

  5. “It’s LeviOHsa,
    Not LeviohSA, you twit.”
    “Shut up, HermiOHN.”

    A baby’s laughter.
    Kids listening--the first time.
    Sleeping until noon.

  6. A baby's first smile
    No magic as powerful
    Except laser hands!

  7. My magic toenail?
    Haiku are not long enough
    To tell that story

  8. My arm extended
    Pointed toward that distant snack
    I yearn for The Force

  9. Go pick a card, Nate.
    Got it? It's the Three of Spades!
    (So cool if this works)

  10. Abracadbra,
    Make this haiku disappear!
    <!--this line is hidden-->

  11. A flourish, a pop.
    A silk curtain cascades down.
    Gasps. An empty stage.

    Behind-the-back pass,
    Between the legs, alley-oop...
    But no. Blocked by Shaq.

    A magician never
    (Caterpillar -> butterfly)
    Reveals her secrets

    "Twenty creatures, sir."
    "What? There were six this morning."
    "They are... gathering."

    Nothing up my sleeve.
    Not a thing, see for yourself.
    (Vanishing Arm Trick)

    With ol' Griff indoors,
    Raving, Claude will huff, he'll puff,
    Then slither in, too.

  12. Unicorn magic
    It is a colorful thing
    horn glistening