Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Kurious Khemical Kompounds (wherein K = Potassium)


No, I'm not saying you should translate this post's title as "Potassiumurious Potassiumhemical Potassiumompounds." I've already covered gobbledygook.

I'll fess up: I was planning to use this topic for C, but then I hit upon my From A to Z Contest (with over $100 in prizes—enter today!). I needed a new spot for this, and K seemed like the logical choice.1

Anyway, I suspect that like me, some of you got bored in chemistry class and started making words with the symbols on the Periodic Table of Elements. It's harder than you'd think, since 10 letters only come as part of a pair (ADEGLMRTXZ) and two don't appear at all (JQ). And it's even more difficult if you don't allow symbols to repeat within the same word (which I don't).2

Of the eight co-hosts for this A to Z Challenge, only one can spell any part of his name with elements: STePHeN (Sulfur-Tellurium-Phosphorus-Helium-Nitrogen), which is rather fitting, considering his love for science. The other 15 first and last names? Can't be done.

In Period Table English, you can't spell PErIOdiC, TaBle, or eNglISH. CHemIStrY doesn't exist, and neither does ScIeNCe. You're out of luck with OUt and lUCK.

You can have an AmBiTiOUS RhInOCErOs, but not an eAgEr BeaVEr. InTeRnAtIONAl SPIEs, but no FOReIgN AgeNtS. Plenty of FLaSH FICTiON, but not one NOVel or SHort StOrY. Yet, surprisingly, you can have both SYNeCdOCHe and ScHeNeCTaDy, NY.

SO I WAs ThInKINg I WOUld AtTemPt StrIVe trY
IF I CaN FInISH ONe SeNTenCe
ThAt'S WHAt I WaNt HOPe
'TiS SO VErY HArd tOUgH dIFfiCult dArN ImPOsSiBle
FUCK ThIS. No MoRe, GdAmMt!
I'MdONe.3

SiNCeRelY,
Sodium Tellurium (NaTe)

1 If you consider pulling letters randomly out of a hat logical. Luckily, I do.
2 By the way, this type of wordplay is the only (arguably) legitimate reason to ever capitalize every other letter when you type.
3 P.S. ScReW YOU, HErSHeY! I TaSTe ArSeNiC. ThAr Be PoISON In ThIs HeRe CHoCoLaTe! NOW I PErISH. (SCeNe.)

This post is part of the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge, hosted by Stephen Tremp and seven others. Go check out the other participants!

9 comments:

  1. Now that is clever ! Luckily the mind is a wonderful thing and can decipher such a mix of capitals and lower case (just) Reminded me of this.....

    The Phaomnneil Pweor
    of the Hmuan Mnid


    Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is that the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the human mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

    Pterty amzanig, huh?

    RJRDaydreamer

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  2. Dude, I'm cutting you off of the Potassium, 'K?

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  3. you're like this strange mixture of super nerd and awesome cool dude. Don't change.

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  4. Today's post has left me confuzzled. It's too much for my weak little mind :) Think I'll come back tomorrow and try again.

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  5. Haha, that word play was fantastic. Chemistry is the foundation of life, in many respects. As you've so cleverly proven, it's also the foundation of many words. Glad to see Ambitious Rhinoceros represented. Well played, Sir!

    P.S. If I changed my A to an O, I'd be amongst the distinguished periodic brethren. Though, Mote is not too flattering a name.

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  6. Very clever, and you remind me of my 17 year old son. He gets bored in class, so while the teacher is speaking, he takes random words, turns them into a code, and then back into other words. I don't get it, but it entertains him.

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  7. RJR: Yep, I tlolaty aerge. Pterty amzanig.

    Jeffrey: Ooh, I see what you did there. Very clever. Now give me back my potassium.

    Liz: ThAt? Yeah, Thorium Astatine is pretty cool.

    Falen: Why would I ever change? I'm the catalyst; I simply change everyone around me.

    li: Sorry my chemically-induced post broke your brain. But do come back; I think you'll enjoy what I have in store for L. Not one lick of science.

    Chris: I think you meant "NICe." (Either way, thanks!)

    Matthew: What can I say? The ambitious rhino was due for some recognition. P.S. Just eschew vowels: MtThW VNCr.

    Shelli: What did you say? Sorry, I was busy turning things into code. :)

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