Haiku Contest: Heroes & Villains!

*** The contest has ended. Check out the winners! ***

Up on the blog: It's a beard! It's a plane! It's my 6th annual haiku contest!
We've previously honored ninja, pirates, robots, space, and the ocean. But now it's time for our haiku to honor those who have done so much for (or against) us: heroes and villains.

It's not difficult.
You know what syllables are?
Just use seventeen.

Simply follow standard haiku structure (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again) and make it have something to do with heroes and/or villains. However you interpret the theme is entirely up to you.

To enter, write your haiku in the comments section below. Two or three lucky winners will receive $25 million in unmarked bills $25 Amazon gift cards.

I will be selecting the best haiku in each of two categories:

• Humorous/Creative
• Traditional (i.e. eloquent, evocative, etc.)

In addition, I may also reward a third entry. Or I may not. Because I am maniacal, and like to keep you guessing.

The deadline to submit a haiku is this Thurssday, May 7 at 5:00pm (Eastern Time). Official "rules" are below.

Official "Rules":

1. To enter, post hero- and/or villain-themed haiku in the comments section below. Multiple submissions are allowed, but if you submit more than five (5) entries, you'll have introduced too many characters and won't be able to protect all of them. The newest additions will slashed mercilessly.
2. Standard haiku rules apply. To qualify, each entry must be a three-line poem, the first line containing exactly 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third line 5 syllables. If you miscount and fall short, your poem will enter battle vastly outnumbered and will not survive. If you run long, I'll start cutting before you finish. (In other words, don't start monologuing.)
3. The contest is open until Thursday, May 7, 2014 at 5:00pm, Eastern Time. If an entry arrives after the deadline, it'll make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. HAIKU SMASH!
4. Entries must be in English. (i.e. Using Japanese kanji will not help you win for best traditional haiku.) If I can't understand your entry, it proves you're a creature of unknown origin hell-bent on world domination. I'll give the prize money to others, so they can finance our planet's defenses against you.
5. Anonymous entries will not win. Heroes have alter egos, so if you provide no name it means you're a villain, and I can't trust anything you say. You won't poison me with your lies. And you will never win.
6. Prizes will be awarded in each of two (2) categories: Humorous/Creative and Traditional. A third prize may be awarded if the mood (or a muscle-bound guy in tights) strikes me.
   
   • First place winners will each receive a $25 Amazon gift card.
   • An indeterminate number of Honorable Mentions will receive both mention and honor. Not necessarily in that order.
7. I will act as sole judge, and select the winning haiku based on the aforementioned criteria, as well as other criteria I make up as I go along. All decisions are final, and will not be changed under any circumstances. Unless you can give me some sort of superpower. Then I'm totally changing my mind.